The Biological Reason Kids Need Their Parents Involved At School

Local government overreach has moved into family relationships and education. Parents are being kicked out of school hallways and classrooms and told that they don’t have the right to see what their kids are learning. Aside from the sociopolitical impact, there is a deeper issue at work here: child well-being.

Kids need parental involvement in their education for many reasons. Their neurobiological, psychological and cognitive development depend upon it. Studies show that the adults who have the greatest impact on a child’s psychological and physical health are parents. Kids with involved parents use less drugs, get into trouble less, perform better in school, are less depressed and the list goes on. This makes sense because child attachment forms with parents first. Caring mothers give their children security. Fathers who rock their kids and read to them can actually boost the kids’ IQs. We all know that kids need involved parents, but no one will publicly state this for fear of shaming teachers, coaches, etc.

Strong relationships sit at the core of a child’s psychological health. All kids are born for connection with loved ones, and these connections start at home. Growing relationships with one’s parents is critical to emotional, cognitive and even physical health. To carve those relationships out of education stunts the child’s growth. As wonderful as teachers can be, the influence they have over kids pales in comparison to the influence of parents.

Research shows that, neurologically, a child’s brain development begins at birth through interactions with their parents. Their brains are being mapped for life, and this mapping continues through their middle school and teen years. A child’s interactions with his or her parents literally help one neuron connect with another. If some neurons are not connected over time, they fall away. As such, keeping parents from being involved in any area of their kids’ lives has the potential to affect brain development. This is important to understand because brain mapping during the school years stays with children for life.

Can teachers contribute to brain mapping? Yes, they can. However, their influence is not quite as instrumental as a parent’s. This begs another question: If teachers spend more time with a child than their parents do, is the mapping that occurs in the child’s brain acceptable to the parents? Do the teachers imprint beliefs, theories and philosophies that the parents agree with?

Cognitive development refers to the maturation of the ability to think with greater complexity as years pass. Parents have a profound effect on their child’s cognitive development because they are the ones who will engage with their kids on deep levels. They will discuss life-changing decisions, help them resolve problems, think through consequences of different behaviors and model to them how to respond in a healthy manner to many challenges they encounter. Parent interaction is key to cognitive maturation.

Adolescence is a critical time when the brain’s coordination of regulatory systems changes. In short, an adolescent’s brain is far more susceptible to influence from their environment. This includes their cognitive maturity, emotional maturity and development of a spiritual life.

As much as sociologists champion teachers and coaches as primary influences over the choices kids make regarding life-changing decisions, again, a parent’s influence on a child’s behavior far surpasses that of a teacher or coach. This happens because the child is connected to a parent by a need to be loved and accepted. These two needs drive teen behaviors because they arise from a deeper place in the child’s life: parental connection.

Having parents in schools is impactful not just for their own kids but for other children as well. Case in point: Dads on Duty at Southwood High School in Shreveport, Louisiana. After the arrest of 23 students in a few short days, fathers involved in their children’s lives decided to take action. Fighting in the school had gotten out of control, one student was labelled a terrorist and the stress of Covid mandates made the violence worse. Teachers and parents didn’t know what to do, but they knew they had to find a solution before the school became unsafe for all students.

They formed a simple coalition of fathers to go into the school and simply be present. In September 2021, the fathers first walked the halls and campus. They interacted with the students in a respectful, positive manner. Almost immediately, the entire school became a calmer, safer place. Fighting fell dramatically, and the behavior of students became noticeably different.

Before these fathers entered the school, teachers were present. The principal was on campus, and yet, violence persisted. Why? We know that teachers have a significant effect on students‘ behaviors, so why was the violence increasing so rapidly? Was it the teachers’ fault? No.

The reality of the violence pointed to the critical involvement of parents — particularly fathers in this case — in a child’s education. Fathers have an authority in their child’s eyes that no other person has. Children, especially boys, yearn for their father’s acceptance and love. Of course, mothers have influence, but everyone with a father knows that a father’s influence is different. Historically, fathers provided stability, and this has not changed in the minds of children. Mothers provide comfort, security and love among many other things, and fathers provide physical protection. Furthermore, fathers give boys a sense of belonging and acceptance. If we look at boys who have grown up with single mothers, we often see unrest in them. They need masculine influence as they mature into manhood. Teen boys who don’t have this search frantically for a social ecosystem where they can belong — one that acknowledges their identity as tough, strong and masculine. This is often the beginning of their demise.

The presence of parents in their kids’ schools causes them to know their kids better. It opens a door for parents to see a world in which their kids navigate. They gain greater understanding of their children’s academic education as well as the social pressures their kids face and can then impact them in a positive way. While we focus on the effects parental involvement in schools has on children, we cannot overlook the impact it has on parents. Their eyes open wider. They see their kids’ friends and the state of negative and positive influences from other kids. Ultimately, this causes parents to grow closer to their kids and connect on a deeper level.

When parents are withheld from their children’s education and forbidden to enter their classrooms, the entire family suffers. Kids have less critical connection with their parents. Their cognitive, neurobiological and psychological development suffer. Parents, too, end up with a skewed view into their child’s world. This cripples parents because without knowledge of the effects of social interactions on their kids, they are unable to help their kids navigate difficult friendships and relationships with teachers. 

I have devoted the last 32 years to speaking up for kids. I have never experienced this level of control over our children by an entity beyond the family. We need to speak up for our kids now lest we see our relationships with them fracture. Once that happens, the health of our entire country will be in jeopardy.

Meg Meeker, M.D., has spent more than thirty years practicing pediatric and adolescent medicine and counseling teens and parents. Dr. Meeker is a fellow of the National Advisory Board of the Medical Institute, an associate professor of medicine at Michigan State School of Human Medicine, and a best-selling author.

The views expressed in this opinion piece are the author’s own and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.

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