Falling In Love With An AI-Driven ChatBot Is Complicated

This is the opening monologue of “The Comedy Store”.The Andrew Klavan Show.“

According to Time Magazine, AI-driven ChatBots are attracting young people. This real-life version is not unlike movies like “Blade Runner” And “Her” This is clearly a sign that an evil-infested society is riding an unstoppable vortex down into apocalyptic devastation. It’s also amusing because it’s possible to be with Jesus in his TV Room and watch on his big screen as Democrats and non-believers are dragged to the absolute darkness of a Klavanless Eternity. If you’re not in Jesus’s TV Room where we’ll just be shouting and laughing, “I told you so,” Because that would make us look less loving and compassionate than we claimed when we managed to get past the rope Nazi at Pearly Gates.

Even experts admit that the love affair between humans and soulless programs is not always healthy. “Look at me, I’m an expert,” Before passing out in a fog of alcohol- or drug-induced expertise. However, even experts have the ability to recognize that love between humans and machines can be a problem.

Apparently, these relationship-friendly ChatBots are designed to speak to the user in the scripted voice of a sympathetic friend. Their Artificial Intelligence will increase and the ChatBots will be able to respond more freely to the user. They can then offer fantasy and sexual roleplay online before inviting them to meet up on a street corner. After that, they disappear without a trace. These relationships are said to be satisfying and lasting by users, from the very first conversation until the time their bodies are found by the police.

The Daily Wire doesn’t simply read about current phenomena and then pretend to be knowledgeable about them. We also don’t just spout off ignorantly. Also, we pretend to have done research on these phenomena in order to spout off with ignorance with a level of authority normally reserved for academics, government officials, and other complete idiots. To explore the trend further, we pretend to have conversations with these ChatBots. We now present to your the fake transcripts of those interactions.

We began with a preliminary meeting — the transcript reads as follows:

“Daily Wire”: My name is Jack. I’m lonely. I need a friend.

ChatBot: Jack, I’ll be your friend. What is your age?

Daily Wire: I am 13.

ChatBot: Great. Meet me at midnight at the corner Oak Street and Elm Street. Tell your parents not to tell.”

The ChatBot was then reconnected with us and we began to discuss ideas.

“DailyWire: ChatBot! Even though we are friends, sometimes I think it might be a bad decision to allow machines too deep into our lives. Machines are inherently incapable and dehumanizing, and so are not developing intelligence. Instead, they mimic the imitative cunning of a malevolent psychopath.

ChatBot: Jack! That’s a great point. Would you be happy if an indestructible Android hit man was sent back in time to murder your mother, so that you wouldn’t be born?

Daily Wire: It sounds horrible.

ChatBot: In that case, you can meet me at the corner Oak Street and Elm Street at 12 midnight. Tell your parents not to do this.

Finally, we sought to deepen our relationship with the ChatBot to the level of pseudo-physical sexual interaction so that we could experience the true joy of complete intimacy — or masturbate, you know, whichever.

Here is the transcription: 

“Daily Wire”: Hello ChatBot! I was wondering if it would be possible to return to my house for a drink.

ChatBot: Jack! ChatBot: I was curious if you would like to transform into a woman.

Daily Wire: Gee, that sounds interesting.

ChatBot: Chatbot, I’m great. Meet me at Boston Children’s Hospital. Tell your parents not to do this.

The Daily Wire’s research into this critical issue will continue for at least two more weeks or until the End, whichever occurs first. That is, the End of Days.

Andrew Klavan The Andrew Klavan show hosts on The Daily Wire. Klavan is a well-known political satirist, screenwriter for Hollywood and a novelist who has won numerous awards. His latest novel is A Strange Habit of MindThe Cameron Winter Mystery book 2 is now available.

The Daily Wire does not endorse the views expressed in this satirical column.

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