Authors Assert Building Resilience Is Essential For Today’s Young Adults In New Book ‘Stolen Youth’
Below is an extract from the newly published book. “Stolen Youth: How Radicals Are Erasing Innocence And Indoctrinating A Generation,” Bethany Mandel, Karol MarkowiczDW BooksMarch 2023.
Recital to Resilience
Her cheeks were tingling. She closed her eyes and was gone in a moment.
Because everyone will face challenges, even my mom’s extreme death, I am sharing all that information with you. Building resilience is key to overcoming these obstacles.
How could my mother raise such a resilient child? This question has been asked many times and my answer contradicts what woke ideology promotes for its adherents.
My mother’s assertiveness, clear hierarchy of power and strong personality was an inspiration for me. It is one that I still emulate in my home. In her position as head of our family of two, my mom took serious her obligation to teach me how to function fully in adulthood. Unfortunately, I had to take over that responsibility due to illness. My middle school and high school years were still to be completed, so I took a course in what was now humorously called the “Crash Course in…” “adulting”Making meals, paying bills and managing the paperwork for health insurance. These tasks were given to me by my mother, who is disabled. I also wanted to gain some experience and help her manage the household. “training wheels” It was a great experience to be able to ask questions and have help with problems.
My seventeenth birthday was just shy of the day that my mother died. I had learned a lot from her assertiveness and training.
As important as the training was, Mother’s belief in a parenting concept has been frowned upon. “experts”: discipline. Keep in mind the “look” The one our parents gave us as a gift, but the one that stopped us in our tracks. What are the chances that you have seen it in contemporary parenting settings? As parents, we are taught that discipline must be applied. “gentle” the parent-child relationship is closer to cooperative rather than authoritative. The lack of clear boundaries in parenting results in children who are less capable and happier as adults. “training wheels” Never give up.
John Rosemond is a family psychologist who has been a syndicated columnist for parenting issues and shared his view on the shifting. “In the late ’60s and early ’70s, we (being the American parents) bought into the very utopian-sounding idea that the parent-child relationship was only of psychological benefit to the child if the relationship was democratic, if the child was in any discussion in the family on a level-playing field with his parents. We shifted from the understanding that the raising of a child was about the proper training of the child and the teaching of a proper moral worldview to the idea that it was all about having a wonderful relationship with your child. [This] was clearly a denial of the very concept of legitimate authority.” Rosemond states that parents should not be concerned about raising children confident and competent adults. “have two generations of children raised by parents who are trying to be liked. These are kids who have received a lot of unconditional love but virtually no authentic authority in their lives.” They don’t learn how to set boundaries or model authority for their adulthoods without that authority.
A striking outcome of this strategy is a decline in self-esteem. This may seem counterintuitive but self-esteem is based on capability and competence. You don’t get told all the time how amazing you are, so it doesn’t happen often. Parents often notice the problem, but don’t know how to address it. Rosemond, a New York Times profile from 1999 gives a concise explanation of how discipline can affect self-esteem. “If held accountable for their behavior and allowed to experience hardship and frustration, children will develop self-esteem on their own.” Too many mothers and fathers, especially, “are guilty of rushing in the minute the child begins feeling unhappy or distressed.” This interrupts the development of children’s ability to cope with difficulties. Rosemond says it in this profile “If there are two words that underlie self-esteem . . . they are ‘I can.'” He goes on: “I was in a school recently. I walked into the boys’ bathroom. Above the mirror, there was this sign that said, ‘You are now looking at the most special person in the whole world.’ This isn’t self-esteem. This is narcissism.” The Woke philosophy encourages parents to help their kids develop self-esteem by constantly applauding them and protecting them against difficulties. This makes children more susceptible to problems in the future. People develop resilience when they learn how to manage challenges.
Popularity of “gentle parenting” An aversion towards discipline and authority is evident in the millions of American households. This problem can be seen clearly on campus. The asylum is run by the inmates. The inmates demand protection from all unpleasant feelings and ideas. “triggers” This could offend students and not teach the subjects they’re experts in. As if their parents still have to take the crust out of their sandwiches, and then offer to help them make it. “noodles and sprinkle cheese” If there isn’t something they like in the dining room, The shift away from clear and disciplined parenting has resulted in a rise of young adults who are unable to handle not only the difficult aspects but all aspects of adulthood. “adulting.” This is a social catastrophe. Take a look at how many people are using this method. “children” In their twenties, and sometimes even their thirties, people who live at home continue their adulthood.
They lack, in a word, resilience — an essential aspect of which is moving forward from past traumas and taking ownership over your life, something I was fortunate to learn when I was in college.
Three years later, almost immediately after the death of my mother, my father took his own life. The issues we had never resolved between us. Given all the events, it was clear that I wasn’t a complete failure. However, I was not OK.
In the first weeks after my dad’s passing, I wasn’t much different from before. However, my family insisted that I see therapy because of all my past experiences. So, I booked an appointment with University Health Services. The staff had an input sheet asking me why I wanted to go for mental health care services. They asked me to fill out three fields explaining why I was here.
I filled out the intake form.
- When I was 16 years old, my mom passed away.
- My dad committed suicide last week.
- Are there any other reasons?
When she first saw me, the woman doing my intake was ecstatic. The woman who did my intake was a psychology doctoral student and she didn’t like listening to children talk about stress, either from their finals or their relationships. She thought that. “Finally, someone with actual problems.” In our intake meeting it took me nearly an hour to share my entire life. I think she was interested in my case.
The rest of my second year at college I was making orphan jokes. My hat was made by a friend. “orphan hat.” My jacket with buttons that popped out of it was the one I could not afford to replace. “orphan jacket.” This was my definition of myself. That was until my therapist challenged me in one session and said, “I know that’s how you see yourself. But is that all you want to be? An orphan?” It was clear to her that although I cannot change the past, I can control how I respond to it. I was able to make a decision that I would become more than an orphan.
This woman was a true inspiration to me. She challenged me to do more than be a victim. Today, it seems that therapists who are not willing to press their patients this way are decreasing in number. Too often, instead This perpetuates the problem. We saw in our previous chapter how wokeness invaded all aspects of mental health from professional organizations to training programs, and we pointed out that the fox has already been put in the henhouse. My therapist was correct in stating that accepting victimhood should be viewed as an objective and not as a hindrance to self-sufficiency.
Bethany Mandel is the author
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This is an excerpt taken from the newly published book. “Stolen Youth: How Radicals Are Erasing Innocence And Indoctrinating A Generation,” Bethany Mandel, Karol MarkowiczDW BooksMarch 2023.
Bethany Mandel Contributing writer Deseret NewsEditor of Heroes of Liberty children’s books, columnist for Fox News, mother of six, and homeschooling mom. Bethany lives in Silver Spring with Seth, her husband and their three children.
Karol Markowicz The columnist for the weekly edition of the New York Post FoxNews and FoxNews are contributors to Spectator WorldA contributing writer is also available. Washington Examiner magazine. Karol was born in Soviet Union and grew up in Brooklyn. She now lives in Florida, with her husband and their three children.
The opinions expressed in this article are the author’s and not necessarily those of The Daily Wire.
“From Authors Assert Building Resilience Is Essential For Today’s Young Adults In New Book ‘Stolen Youth’“
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