U.S. Capitol now a refuge for sick elderly lawmakers.
The Babylon Bee Strikes Again!
Prepare to be entertained by the latest headline from The Babylon Bee: “Aide Pushes Cart Through Halls Of Congress Yelling ‘Bring Out Your Dead!’” This clever reference to the iconic movie “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” is sure to bring a smile to your face.
Step into the chaotic world of Congress, where long-time aide Mark Mathis has been assigned the unusual task of collecting dead bodies. With members of congress dropping like flies, Mathis finds himself pushing a cart through the halls, gathering the deceased. Amidst the madness, even Senator Dianne Feinstein joins in the dark humor, exclaiming, “I’m getting better!” as she is tossed into the wheelbarrow. It’s a surreal scene that perfectly captures the absurdity of the situation.
As Mathis navigates the halls, he humorously remarks, “The dead body smell was getting overpowering. So, now I push this official congressional wheelbarrow around to collect the corpses. Government work — am I right?”
But this amusing story comes at a time when the American people are questioning the fitness of their federal lawmakers. Recent incidents involving Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell and Senator Dianne Feinstein have raised concerns about the need for an age limit in Congress.
During a press conference, McConnell experienced a sudden freeze and silence, leaving his Republican colleagues bewildered. Similarly, Feinstein appeared confused during a Senate hearing, attempting to deliver a lengthy speech when a simple “aye” would have sufficed. These incidents highlight the urgency for change.
With McConnell, 81, and Feinstein, 89, facing health issues and missing crucial votes, it’s time to address the elephant in the room. After dedicating decades to public service and accumulating substantial wealth, why don’t they retire and enjoy their twilight years in peace?
Unfortunately, ego plays a significant role in their decision to stay. Lawmakers in Congress thrive on attention and the sound of their own voices. They relish the spotlight and crave the recognition that comes with their position. Retirement would mean fading into obscurity, while staying in office ensures their legacy lives on.
Additionally, many politicians yearn for the honor of lying in state. This prestigious tribute, reserved for presidents, military leaders, and members of Congress, allows grieving Americans to pay their final respects in the Capitol’s rotunda. It’s a symbol of their importance and impact.
However, it’s time for the American people to reclaim control and demand change. These political dinosaurs, regardless of party affiliation, should gracefully exit the stage at around 75 years old. After all, commercial pilots are required to retire at 65, and they only fly planes. Our lawmakers are responsible for guiding a nation of 320 million people. It’s time to inject fresh perspectives and cognitive ability into our government.
The views expressed in this piece are the author’s own and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.
Joseph Curl, a seasoned political journalist with 35 years of experience, including 12 years as a White House correspondent, shares his insights. He was also the a.m. editor of the Drudge Report for four years. For tips, reach out to [email protected] or follow him on Twitter @josephcurl.
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