Feminists betray the women they advocate for.
In the Era of Celebrities: Ariana Grande’s Contradictory Feminism
In the era of celebrities, feminism and Hollywood are locking hands and leading the cultural message: “We females must stick together! Men are trash!” That cultural messaging got to Taylor Swift, Beyoncé has had her own feminist moments, and Ariana Grande has taken the lead with it. Grande is a self-proclaimed feminist, and yet her recent actions suggest that she is far from believing that women should stick together and support one another.
So how feminist does Ariana Grande claim to be? For starters, she included the song “God Is a Woman” on her fourth album (which, if that’s true, we’re all in trouble). She attended the infamous Women’s March of 2017 where 4 million ladies took to the streets to breathe new life into an already powerful movement of women to protest the patriarchy. That same month, Global Citizen wrote a piece about her praising her girl power: “Grande has been on the front lines of the fight against the patriarchy for years, and her contributions to feminism have largely flown under the radar. In an era of scandals and feuds, Grande has consistently preached solidarity and girl power above everything else.” Her mother and grandmother were with her at the march, three generations of strong lady feminists. She spoke about her mother when an ex-boyfriend publicly accused her of cheating, responding, “I’m going to be the lady my mother raised and carry myself with class and dignity, but I will never be any man’s press opportunity.” How very feminist of her.
However, this was not the only time she has been accused of cheating or getting involved in other people’s relationships. “Glee” actress Naya Rivera, who sadly passed away in 2020, wrote a book in 2017; in it, she told about her relationship with fiancé Big Sean. Toward the end of their time together, he was not answering her phone calls, so she went to his house. When she got there, he was sitting on a couch next to Grande. While we cannot speculate whether the two had been hooking up, we do know they began a highly publicized relationship after his split with Rivera.
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A similar story surfaced recently involving Ethan Slater, who played SpongeBob SquarePants in the Broadway musical. Ethan has been married to his wife, Lilly Jay, for ten years; they were high school sweethearts. Lilly Jay celebrated her first Mother’s Day just three months ago, and Slater made a really heartfelt post about her on that day. When he was cast for “Wicked” alongside Grande, the three started spending time together. While they were all hanging out, Lilly Jay was postpartum because her son was born in August 2022. As with anyone postpartum, she was dealing with new changes, unknowns, and concerns. Any postpartum mother really relies on her partner during this time. But Lilly Jay’s partner decided in all this, he didn’t want to be together anymore.
So, Slater went from writing a happy first Mother’s Day “to the most loving caring and wonderful mom/person in the world” post about her to filing for divorce. What could have happened? Well, two days before this news went public, Slater apparently came clean to his wife, who had no idea anything had been going on between her husband and Grande. He confessed he was in a relationship with Grande, who had just filed for divorce herself — the same Grande she had allowed to hold her infant child, the woman she had spent time getting to know, the woman who claims to be a feminist supporting other women.
Women who tend to testify the loudest about feminism, who love to preach about girl power, often have deep-seated issues. My hypothesis was that Grande has daddy issues plaguing her from her childhood. Sure enough, after doing some research, I found evidence of those issues, which explains why she likes to pursue men who are in stable relationships — and rip those relationships apart. Her father divorced her mother when Grande was eight, he left, and their relationship has been sporadic ever since. In her song “Thank U, Next,” Grande says, “One day I’ll walk down the aisle holding hands with my mama. I’ll be thanking my dad cause she grew from the drama.” There is no question that she is broken from these earlier father issues. And hurt people, hurt people.
Grande is not the only party at fault. It’s very clear Ethan Slater is also at fault. It’s obvious. He’s a dweeb. This is the first time he thinks he’s ever punched above his weight, and he’s completely lost his mind. He’s a dweeb and he’s weak. One girl so much as glanced at him, and he has ruined his entire life — and not just his life. He’s ruined the life of his child as well as the woman who has loved him for the last ten years. Furthermore, he will not be able to keep Ariana Grande. They’re definitely not skipping off into the sunset because that’s not what she does. This is sports to her. The high for her is breaking up the relationship, not standing by him because he’s already committed to divorcing his wife. The game is over for her.
Feminism is a game for broken women, women who feel failed by men in some capacity and want to seek revenge. It reeks of all of the reasons why I always say we should not follow Hollywood’s lead. Because in reality, what we are facing today is a crisis of too many women that are acting like an Ariana Grande.
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