Olympics Picked Former Pimp With Bus Full of ‘B****es’ as Honored Torchbearer

Just in case you were shocked that the Paris Olympics mocked Christians with its tableau of drag queens representing the Last Supper, please note that its organizers were mocking Christian values long before it began.

In fact, they were making a mockery of values pretty much every human being with a functioning sense of right and wrong agrees upon: Don’t celebrate sex traffickers, no matter how good you might think their music is.

Just before the Olympic torch reached its final destination, as you may have heard, Snoop Dogg — a man who can generate more asterisks in a single verse than Lance Armstrong’s entire career cycling record contains — was chosen as one of the celebrities relaying the flame to the French capital.

We’ve reached a point where Snoop Dogg carrying the torch at the Olympic Opening Ceremonies in Paris doesn’t even crack the Top 100 of most ridiculous things to happen this week. pic.twitter.com/v6l9jKZKnv

— NotKennyRogers (@NotKennyRogers) July 26, 2024

Yes, because when your torch plausibly resembles a joint, why not get a rapper known as one of the world’s foremost marijuana enthusiasts to carry it on its last miles?

We’ve come to the point where people thought this was genuinely OK. After all, Mr. Dogg (legal name Calvin Broadus Jr.) has reached the point where he’s co-hosting supposedly family friendly shows with Martha Stewart. Both of them, implausibly, have spent significant time in the slammer, and Mr. Dogg only slightly more.

Snoop Dogg carrying the Olympic torch is a vibe pic.twitter.com/ZP5fUVDvav

— Bastien Fachan (@BastienFachan) July 26, 2024

If this pic of @SnoopDogg carrying the Olympic torch crosses your timeline, everything is gonna be okay. pic.twitter.com/z74NZYIvjp

— Amy Curtis 🇮🇱 (@RantyAmyCurtis) July 26, 2024

To go through the number of things that Mr. Dogg has either been charged with or plausibly claimed to have gotten away with in full would be to compile a document that would even get Ayn Rand to be like, “Slow down with the word count.” So, let’s just start with the fact that Mr. Dogg says he was a sex trafficker — and not before his rap career took off and he could basically sit at home and live for four entire lifetimes off the royalties from his 1993 debut album alone. (The title of which is unprintable here but is named after a sex position — the name of which also contains part of Broadus’ rap moniker. Draw your own conclusions.)

No, according to the D-O-double-G, this happened a decade after he struck it rich.

In 2013, Broadus — during a brief period which he had rebranded himself as “Snoop Lion” and turned to reggae because of a conversion to Rastafarianism (this stuff really belies parody) — told Rolling Stone that his boasts of being a “pimp” were far from just rap posturing.

“I put an organization together,” he told the magazine’s then-contributing editor Jonah Weiner.

In 2003, he said, “I did a Playboy tour, and I had a bus follow me with ten b****es on it … I could fire a b****, f*** a b****, get a new h*: It was my program.

“City to city, t**** to t****, hotel room to hotel room, athlete to athlete, entertainer to entertainer.”

Natürlich, the former alleged pimp did not name names — but he did name entire teams and seemed quite proud of his work.

“If I’m in a city where where the Denver Broncos or the Nuggets play, I get a couple of they players to come hang out, pick and choose, and whichever one you like comes with a number,” he said. “A lot of athletes bought p**** from me.”

Mr. Dogg (then Lion) tried to make himself look better — and, perhaps in the eyes of the average Rolling Stone reader, he did — by saying that he didn’t necessarily profit off this arrangement and let the women he was trafficking keep all the money, unlike those awful regular pimps.

“I’d act like I’d take the money from the b****, but I’d let her have it,” he says. “It was never about the money; it was about the fascination of being a pimp … As a kid I dreamed of being a pimp, I dreamed of having cars and clothes and b****es to match. I said, ‘F*** it – I’m [fixing to] do it.’”

As if there was no way to make this worse — and, to be fair, this is hardly the biggest outrage in the whole operation — Mr. Dogg was married when this happened. And still is! To the same woman!

“My wife had to take a backseat to this s***,” he says. “And I love her to this day because she coulda shook out on a n***a, but she stayed in my corner. So when I decided to let it go, she was still there.”

And so, too, were the Paris Olympics!

Keep in mind that a temporary not-for-profit pimping outfit is hardly the worst thing that Mr. Dogg has done or has been accused of doing, as previously stated. Here’s a Cliff’s Notes version of the various things that he’s been charged with and/or convicted of during his 52 years upon this planet Earth: first-degree murder, possession of drugs with intent to traffic, possession of drugs with intent to consume, and gun violations. This isn’t even including the several civil cases brought against him or the countries he’s been banned from at various points in time. (At least three that we know of: Australia, Norway and the United Kingdom.)

When this was one of the individuals selected to carry the torch, why are we at all surprised what happened when the Olympic flame finally reached its destination?

After all, according to the official Olympics website, the 11,000 individuals who acted as torchbearers  “will be selected based on their commitment, dedication and how they embody at least one of the core tenets of Paris 2024.” The opening ceremonies certainly proved Snoop Dogg fit right in.

Also, it’s also worth noting that the torchbearers were also supposed to “represent the outstanding diversity of our society.” It’s good to see that France, along with its loving embrace of the demonic minority group, is also down with the pimping minority group. If only Jeffrey Epstein were still around, maybe Snoop Dogg could have focused on other important philanthropic stuff, like making sure the sports teams in Denver don’t lack for prostitutes.