Everyone Is Better Off When People Make Family A Priority

Will America become a majority-childless society? A new Pew Research Center survey suggest that sadly may be the case. Such a direction would have alarming consequences for not just individuals but also for our nation.

When Pew asked Americans younger than 50 if they ever plan to have children, 47 percent—one-half of those polled—said “no.” That’s up 10 percent from just five years before. In fact, of those younger than 50, 57 percent said they never wanted to have children, even if they ended up doing so.

The reasons why? Pew writes: “Not having kids has made it easier for them to afford the things they want, have time for hobbies and interests, and save for the future.” But what kind of future are they saving for? It will quite likely be a lonely one.

The anti-child mindset, coupled with record-low fertility rates, is making the statement “demography is destiny” increasingly true. We should all fear that trend as our society ages.

Despite clear dangers to everyone’s economic and social security when the majority of adults don’t marry and have children, when vice-presidential candidate J.D. Vance mentioned the government should encourage marriage and families, he quickly faced harsh, mocking objections. Yet many believe doing so should be a nonpartisan effort that transcends politics and ideologies. I wholeheartedly agree.

I have several friends in their 50s and 60s caring for aging parents in their 80s and 90s. Caregiving is not easy, but my friends do it willingly to honor their parents and the sacrifices they made for them early in life and to make sure that their parents spend their last days being treated with dignity and respect.

Forty to fifty years from now, those presently shunning having children will enter their twilight years. They will not have devoted children to assist with their care, visiting them, and making sure they are treated well. If we think we have an epidemic of loneliness now, especially among older generations, it will be on steroids in another half-century.

In addition, it is now estimated that the Social Security Trust Fund, which relies on younger individuals to pay for those retiring, will run dry by 2034, resulting in benefit cuts of at least 20 percent.

The Social Security Administration saw this coming in 2010, noting trouble ahead in its financial report because “birth rates dropped from three to two children per woman.” Previously, there had been a 4 or 5 to 1 ratio between workers paying into the system and retirees taking money out. That ratio has already dropped to almost two-to-one. With even fewer children in the future, the ratio will decrease further.

It is not a coincidence that those older than 50 polled in the survey were extremely worried about having enough money (35 percent), having someone to provide care for them (26 percent), and being lonely (19 percent). These trends will also exacerbate our current issues with labor shortages and inflation as retirees exit the workforce and not enough young workers exist to replace them.

Today’s “lifestyle choices” will become tomorrow’s “economic crisis” as our society ignores the bigger picture while focusing more on self-gratification than the common good. We are whistling past a graveyard that will eventually bury us all socially and economically. 

Affording the things we want, having an active social life, and being successful in our career may sound great when young, but eventually time catches up with us all. When it does, deep and meaningful relationships become increasingly more important than material goods, parties, and career advancement.

As King Solomon wrote at the end of his life in Ecclesiastes 2, “I said in my heart, ‘Come now, I will test with pleasure: enjoy yourself … I kept my heart from no pleasure, for my heart found pleasure in all my toil, and this was my reward for all my toil. Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it and behold all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun.”

Perhaps it is time for our society to heed the words of Solomon and no longer encourage each other to chase pleasure and vanity, but instead to pursue what lasts. That includes the enduring generational bonds between parents and children. That will ultimately provide some of the deep fulfillment we all seek, which can never be created by focusing on self.

Timothy S Goeglein is vice president of Focus on the Family in Washington, and author of the book Toward a More Perfect Union: The Cultural and Moral Case for Teaching the Great American Story (Fidelis, 2023).