‘Rings Of Power’ Season Two Isn’t Even Worth Hate Watching

Siege engines are not stealthy.

Relatedly, it is time to pull the plug on Amazon’s Tolkien adaptation. There was much to complain about in season two of “The Rings of Power,” but the nadir might have been a squadron of siege engines rolling out of the woods in a surprise attack against Eregion. This might seem a minor quibble given the failures of plot, characterization, and dialogue that have plagued the series, but it encapsulated the show’s complete indifference to even basic competence.

This isn’t even about the many deviations from Tolkien’s lore; this is just about reality. It is hard to build siege weapons within range of the target city without being noticed. And because putting wheels on trebuchets or catapults does not make them good off-roaders, it is also hard to build them elsewhere and then drag them into position — especially through a forest! — without being noticed.

This ridiculous opening set the tone for the climactic battle, which the elves lost because, well, the plot demanded it. And so they, to give one example, completely forgot how to use heavy cavalry against light infantry. However, named characters were still made to look like amazing warriors at times; perhaps they spent too much time practicing kung fu to bother learning basic tactics.

The show is, of course, replete with other failures, such as the politics of Númenor having the sophistication and subtlety of a middle school cafeteria, and the inanity of Tom Bombadil mentoring a confused Gandalf. But the inability to even shoot a coherent and believable battle scene highlights the utter incompetence of the showrunners.

After slogging through this season, I have to admit that Leah Libresco Sargeant was right when she tweeted, “If you *didn’t* like season one, don’t hate watch season two! Life’s too short to deliberately seek out bad art. What good thing will you pick up instead?” At the time I replied, “Yes, but I like getting paid to explain why Hollywood doesn’t get Tolkien. (also, one episode into season 2 and it’s better. not good, but better).” But season two did not end up being any better, and “Rings of Power” has worn down my enthusiasm for getting paid to criticize. 

The show’s few good moments were quickly overcome by its missteps. If the show’s creators had a formula to follow, they might be able to overcome this — at least enough to produce a good show — but they do not. There is no formula for adapting the Second Age of Middle-earth into a streaming television series.

The showrunners were left on their own, with little love for either their material or their audience. No wonder they have failed. Love is not sufficient for great art — many labors of love are, well, bad — but love for their craft and creation still drives artists to their best efforts.

Tolkien painstakingly reworked his material to get both the story and the details right, from the languages he invented to the phases of the moon during Frodo’s journey. In contrast, the people making the “Rings of Power” can’t even be bothered to learn the basics about how their dramatic, season-ending battle would be fought.

The show’s creators were given a chance to make a beloved television masterpiece, backed by rich source material, a guaranteed audience, and hundreds of millions of dollars. And they squandered it all because they were lazy, arrogant, and utterly lacking in affection for their work.

Amazon should cut its losses and cancel the show. Perhaps the company could try again in a few years, with a new team that combines cinematographic excellence with a love for Tolkien’s creation. In the meantime, the rest of us should take Leah’s advice to look for some other good things to enjoy, and even to create.

The entertainment industry is a decadent mess that is not only out of ideas, but increasingly unable to even execute basic, formulaic material — just look at the troubles the Marvel and Star Wars franchises are in. Few of us are in a position to do much about the big-budgeted dreck being churned out, except for not consuming it. But we can still find ways to support those creating alternatives, and to contribute to a counterculture that creates out of love while striving for excellence.

We can, of course, make a point of seeking out and enjoying quality art and entertainment, and encouraging others, especially our children, to do the same. We can also support those who are trying to create outside of the traditional entertainment industry. For example, Ross Douthat, the sole conservative columnist at The New York Times, is releasing his fantasy novel for free (for now) and it is certainly more worthy of time than “Rings of Power.”

Such efforts seem small when set against the billions of the entertainment industry. But we may still prepare the ground for greatness, for we do not know where genius may arise — Tolkien’s tales began as a hobby and a way to entertain his children. We may therefore have hope as we establish environments that will nurture future creators. Examples abound, from classical Christian schools that instill a love of classical learning and great art to churches that prioritize beautiful and reverent worship music.

Despite the enormous sums used to produce flops such as “Rings of Power,” it is still possible to create great music, literature, art, and even cinema on a budget. If Tolkien has taught us anything, it is that the small and the humble can arise to upset the schemes of the mighty and arrogant.

Nathanael Blake is a senior contributor to The Federalist and a postdoctoral fellow at the Ethics and Public Policy Center.