Rand Paul’s 2024 ‘Festivus Report’: Border security for Paraguay, cocaine rats, and drag queen ice-skating – Washington Examiner


Rand Paul’s 2024 ‘Festivus Report’: Border security for Paraguay, cocaine rats, and drag queen ice-skating

Today is Dec. 23, affectionately known as “Festivus,” a secular celebration that started in the 1960s, but made popular by the sitcom Seinfeld in the 1990s. It was created as a societal counter to the commercialism associated with the Christmas season. 

However, it’s also become synonymous with wasteful government spending, particularly the millions of dollars in taxpayer money exposed by Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) in his annual – and appropriately named—Festivus Report. The senator discovered over a trillion dollars in government waste in this year’s report, including funding for projects focused on ice-skating dragqueens, the construction of pickleball complexes, cocaine rats, and Ukrainian influencers, among others. 

And while the fiscal responsibility Paul highlights is arguably quite tragic, for those clamoring for a return to financial stability and ending reckless government spending, Paul’s efforts and public revelations in his report are a joyous occasion. To quote (and tweak) a classic and beloved Christmas song: 

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year. 

With holiday greetings,

and fiscal responsibility pleadings,

from Sen. Rand Paul, 

It’s the hap-happiest day of all.”

“Last Festivus, we bemoaned the national debt nearing $34 trillion. In just a year, Washington’s career politicians and bureaucrats have managed to push it beyond $36 trillion—unsurprisingly, with hardly a second thought,” Paul wrote in his introduction for ‘The Festivus Report 2024.’ “Who’s to blame for our crushing national debt? Everybody. This year, members of both political parties in Congress voted for massive spending bills, filled with subsidies for underperforming industries, continued military aid to Ukraine, and controversial climate initiatives. As Congress spends to reward its favored pet projects, the American taxpayers are forced to pay through high prices and crippling interest rates.”

Paul details the country’s looming fiscal doom if government spending is not significantly reduced. The senator highlights shocking facts regarding spending, including predictions from the Congressional Budget Office that the country will add “over $6.4 billion of debt every single day for the next ten years, borrowing over $268 million every hour, $4.5 million every minute, and over $74,401 every second.” It will culminate with the country adding “$2.1 trillion in debt annually for the next decade.”

Paul’s discovery of over a trillion dollars in government wasteful spending features many projects that accomplished little to nothing of significant importance. Here are some of the most egregious examples of reckless government spending in “The Festivus Report 2024.”

Ice-skating drag queens for climate change

Paul revealed that the government provided funds for a drag queen ice-skating performance about the dangers of climate change. The National Endowment for the Arts gave the Bearded Ladies Cabaret in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, $10,000 for its  “Beard on Ice” performance to promote climate change alarmism. The artistic director for the self-described “queer cabaret arts organization” provided the following statement regarding the performance: 

“It’s so impossible, the issue of climate change and climate anxiety right now — almost as impossible as drag queens learning how to ice skate. So if we can get these drag queens to ice skate, maybe, just maybe, we can solve the climate crisis.”

The production was forced to cancel its opening-night performance due to poor ice conditions at the ice rink in which it was being held, according to reports. 

Using pandemic relief funds to buy an island

The report identified the misdeeds of a Florida businessman who reportedly used COVID-19 relief funds to purchase Sweetheart Island off the coast of Florida. An investigation into the purchase found that the swindler used funds obtained from pandemic assistance to “help finance the island purchase,” according to reports

The person who tried to buy the island fraudulently received $7.8 million in emergency pandemic aid by submitting over 30 deceitful applications. He was eventually busted, convicted for his crimes, and sentenced to over five and a half years in federal prison, and agreed to return the $7.8 million in aid he received.  

Millions of dollars spent on a pickleball court in Las Vegas

The “Festivus Report of 2024” discovered that the Department of the Interior spent $12 million to build a 30-court pickleball complex in Las Vegas, Nevada. The city hoped to eventually use these courts to host high-profile tournaments and put Vegas on the “global pickleball map.”

Billions of dollars spent on nearly-empty office buildings

Paul’s “Festivus Report” identified the significant waste of billions of dollars. A report from the Government Accountability Office revealed the government needlessly spends $10 billion on underutilized office buildings nationwide. The report highlighted that the government spends $5 billion on leases for these buildings and another $2 billion on yearly maintenance costs. 

The GAO report discovered that “these buildings are just oversized, expensive storage units for empty desks.” The waste of cash includes millions spent on furniture and office equipment in buildings where “offices largely remain empty,” according to the “Festivus Report.” A previous version of a waste report by Paul revealed that “the government spent $1.7 billion on 77,000 empty, unused properties.”

Millions of dollars on border security – for Paraguay

The “Festivus Report” found that the State Department spent $2.1 million on border security—for Paraguay. At a time when illegal immigrants hit a historical record high, the U.S. government was providing millions of dollars to another country’s border security while ignoring failures and problems along the U.S. border. U.S. taxpayer dollars went to the South American country to help ensure people were not entering it illegally, while a record number of people were entering the U.S. illegally. 

Over $7 million on different projects studying magic

Abracadabra! 

Sen. Paul found that the U.S. government spent taxpayer funds studying multiple government projects involving magic. Part of this “magical” spending included over $6 million from the Department of Defense on a “Magic City Discovery Center,” according to the “Festivus Report.” Other projects included $250,000 in funding for the Institute of Museum and Library Services to modernize its “Magic Lantern Shows and Nickelodeons” exhibition. Other acts of astonishment given significant funding grants included $94,006 to the National Science Foundation to study The Magic School Bus and $388,863 to assess and analyze the podcast “Magic in the United States.”

Millions of dollars in advancing fertilizer use in Pakistan and Vietnam

It’s no secret that the country’s farmers are experiencing significant economic hardships in recent years. Yet, despite these challenges, our country, which is trillions of dollars in debt, opted to provide $20 million to foreign countries such as Pakistan, Vietnam, Brazil, and Colombia for different programs with a broad scope of objectives, including boosting the income of farmers in Vietnam—not the U.S. 

Paul cites many other programs in which the government wastes an exorbitant amount of money for what appears to be no legitimately beneficial reason. These include studying lonely, cocaine-addicted rats, spending nearly $5 million on foreign social media influencers, and spending $2 million to study children looking at food ads on Facebook, among many other shocking examples. These egregious acts of fiscal irresponsibility must stop. They are detrimental to the country and directly threaten the nation’s economic sustainability.

To see the numerous other examples of reckless government spending and waste, you can access Sen. Rand Paul’s “The Festivus Report” here.



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