ATTENTION: This Portland lady demands partners with severe climate anxiety.

New York Times guest columnist explains ‍’why I bring up climate change on first ⁢dates’

What happened: Erica Berry, a female writer from Portland, Ore., ⁣announced in a⁤ New York Times guest essay that she brings up climate change “on first dates” and refuses to pursue relationships with men ⁣who don’t ​share her obsessive thoughts and anxiety about global warming.

What‍ she said: The author describes ​ breaking up ‌with her last boyfriend because he wasn’t enthusiastic about having ⁣constant “conversations about our planet’s future” and how local officials could “support vulnerable citizens ⁢through better infrastructure.”

• My boyfriend was supportive⁤ of my‌ focus, but he didn’t share it: When I ⁣brought up global⁤ warming, ‍he’d often try to​ comfort me:⁣ to wrap me in a hug, cue up an old‍ episode of ‘Seinfeld,’ offer a CBD gummy.
• Berry has started dating again in the past year: “This time, I am swallowing ‍my fear ​of sounding too anxious⁣ and am talking about climate change early‍ on,” she writes. “I don’t presume ⁤my own perspective is right, but I do know from my last relationship that‍ I’m tired of trying to be chill. I can’t care any less than I do.”
• She​ has found that “talking about how global warming ‌affects our lives, however casually, becomes a sort of ‍canary in the coal ⁣mine for learning about people’s broader beliefs and ‌behaviors,” such as “how‍ they engage with science and systemic inequality.”

Sounds like fun!

Crucial context: Berry cites data from the online dating app OkCupid claiming ⁢to show ‌a dramatic increase in⁣ users expressing concern about climate change in their ⁤profiles.

• The data do show that‍ young singles are writing “climate‍ change” and other related terms in their profiles with ⁢increasing‌ frequency. Berry, however, suggests‌ what these online daters really want is “someone willing to grapple with [climate change], ​to do ‌the inconvenient work of reimagining our own⁣ lives in​ the face of ‌it,” including discussions about ‍”whether to have a baby.” Yeah, uh, maybe.
• Liberals are weird. ⁢ New ⁤York Times columnist Ezra Klein wrote that the ‍question he is asked “more than any other” is ‌whether it’s okay to have children “given‌ the climate crisis” and “knowing they will‌ contribute ‌to the⁣ climate crisis.” ​(People who ask Ezra Klein for ‌advice on having kids are not a representative sample of the American population.)
• Liberal activist David Hogg announced last year that he is “never having kids” and ⁣”would much rather ⁢own a Porsche” because it’s ⁤”better for the ​environment.”

Be smart: Most ​people who claim to “care about climate change” are just trying to ⁢achieve a ⁢feeling of moral superiority over the people who don’t even ‌pretend to care about climate change. Some of them are just ⁤trying to ⁢get laid.

• Though plenty of these libs will happily post on‍ social media and vote⁣ for ⁢politicians who claim to care about climate change, very ​few would‍ ever be willing to make the sort ​of meaningful personal sacrifices environmental ‌extremists​ want to impose on the⁢ general public.

Bottom line: At least one woman ​in Portland won’t date you unless you enjoy deep conversations about our planet’s future and‌ share her crippling climate anxiety.⁢ Conduct yourselves accordingly.