‘Barbie’ offers more lectures than laughs.

Once upon a time in Malibu…

In the magical⁢ world‌ of ⁣Barbie and her ​friends, a captivating glimpse into their lives unfolded. From 2012 to 2015, “Barbie: Life in the Dreamhouse” delighted⁤ audiences with⁤ vignettes featuring the iconic blond doll and her friends. Their adventures revolved around shopping, poolside lounging,‌ and pursuing various careers. ​With self-awareness and ​witty banter,‍ even​ fathers‍ found themselves enjoying this quality entertainment alongside their daughters.

So, when news of a live-action “Barbie” movie broke, many of us ⁢held our​ breath, hoping it would follow in the footsteps ⁤of the beloved show. ​Early trailers and publicity ​seemed to confirm our hopes, teasing a glorious peek into the life of one of history’s most famous dolls. We anticipated playful jabs at Barbie’s impossible career arc and her seemingly ageless existence, akin‍ to Dorian Gray.

However, our hopes ‍were dashed. As Kyle Smith astutely observes in The Wall Street‍ Journal, the film’s script resembles a grumpy women’s studies seminar. Armond White, writing for National Review, describes the movie as frantic, uncheerful, and ‌graceless, claiming that Barbie symbolizes a culture that devalues childhood and goodness. Even the Critical Drinker on YouTube, in his review titled “Barbie: ‍The Greatest Lie Ever Told,” expresses surprise at the film’s spiteful, bitter,‌ and mean-spirited portrayal of men and everything associated with them.

“Barbie,” starring Margot Robbie and Ryan⁢ Gosling, embodies all these criticisms ⁢and more. Yet, it falls short of expectations. The doll‍ herself plays​ a minimal role, ​merely serving as⁤ a vessel for⁢ screenwriters Greta Gerwig⁤ and Noah Baumbach to vent their frustrations. Sitting through the movie feels like ‌being trapped in a conversation⁤ with an angry ideologue⁤ whose ideas lack⁢ the​ insanity to be entertaining.

While⁤ “Life in the ⁢Dreamhouse” offered a lighthearted exploration of ⁤the Barbie universe’s contradictions, “Barbie” presents itself as a lecture disguised as‍ a movie. It gloomily dissects a society that exists solely in‍ the minds of Gerwig⁢ and Baumbach. For a film that criticizes the ‌patriarchy, it fails to inspire Gerwig to reflect on her own success in defying its⁤ constraints.

Of ‍course, movies don’t have to be purely entertaining, but it certainly helps. The disappointment lies in the fact that the rich source material of the Barbie universe was transformed into this film. ​We could have had‍ a delightful and humorous experience, where audiences ​of all ages laughed⁣ at jokes⁢ about Barbie’s unbending knees and fingers. We⁤ could have embarked on a⁤ delightful adventure inspired ⁣by a doll that has fueled imaginations for decades. In short, we could have had the movie that was promised in the ​marketing campaign.

Unfortunately, that’s not what we⁤ got. Instead, we are subjected to a series of angry ⁣talking points, where the only flights of imagination lead to a nightmarish world where women ​are objectified, vilified,⁢ and subjugated in ways that would make even a caveman blush. It’s far​ from ‍a dream.

Despite all this, I’m not angry about ⁣”Barbie.” However, ⁣as a father⁤ who eagerly anticipated taking his⁤ daughters to this movie for over a year, I am undeniably ‌disappointed.