Barbieheimer: Exclusively for Guys

Guys, it’s tough out there. From Jordan Peterson to Andrew Tate ⁢to Richard Reeves, people‍ across the ideological spectrum agree: men are having an incredibly rough go at it as of late, as our peers continue⁣ to drop⁣ out, overdose,‍ and kill themselves at a mind-boggling pace.

Some diagnose this cultural decline as ⁣the result of stagnating economic conditions — a questionable claim considering these trends​ continued amid the flourishing Trump economy. Others point to the​ widespread emancipation of Western ‍men from their thumos and Faustian Spirit (the masculine impulse to⁢ sacrifice comfort to pursue greatness) ⁤as a result of the⁤ pervasive and rampant feminization ‍of​ civilization in the ‍decades following the sexual revolution, which has undoubtedly been a disaster for the human race.

Indeed, in the global longhouse, Alpha Males™ like⁤ Nick Adams ⁤are a vocal and powerful minority as they show young men that they need not resign themselves to the deafening groans of XY-mediocrity. Per Adams’ repeated, and satirically homoerotic,⁣ online guidance,⁤ to truly revel ⁣in male camaraderie, one must surround himself with like-minded, driven men on the fairway, ⁢eating wings, and pursuing life’s tribulations and challenges.

Men ought to pursue excellence in all things. And​ there’s no​ better medium to pursue cultural excellence than ​the, arguably,‍ uniquely American medium ‌of ‌cinema. And this is why this weekend, you should assemble a foursome with the boys and treat yourselves to a Barbie-Oppenheimer double feature. Nothing exudes camaraderie quite like a shared in-person cinematic experience, and this is the perfect opportunity for the ‌fellas to reverse-engineer Greta‍ Gerwig’s feminist “Barbie” into a story where‍ male excellence (henceforth known as “Kenergy”) and friendships are encouraged and to further have that message reinforced with a subsequent viewing of Christopher Nolan’s “Oppenheimer.”

Julius Robert Oppenheimer, the ‍man considered to be the father of​ the‌ atomic bomb, despite his unironic galaxy-brain intellect, would‍ not have achieved all that he did ‌without constant support from his friends and family — a fact ⁣constantly reiterated in his biography⁣ American Prometheus, which Nolan’s film adapts.

Similarly, Ken would not be able to subvert expectations — stepping into his ‌own role and becoming more than Barbie’s himbo sidepiece —⁢ without male camaraderie and the support of his⁣ fellow playthings. After all, it takes a lot of manpower ‍to shirk the longhouse of Barbieland in the pursuit of​ establishing the dreaded patriarchal Kendom. (Spoiler ahead.)

After Barbie and Ken spend time ⁤in the real world, Ken has enough of being ⁤the butt of the joke and seeks to ⁢establish a patriarchal ⁣order in which he and his fellow male dolls are ⁣able to self-actualize. Without ⁤the help of his ​peers, Ken would never be able to stage such a coup and do away with the increasingly antiquated⁣ notion that⁣ masculinity is‌ best ⁣relegated to ⁣a state ⁤of perpetual neuter.

And, perhaps, ​utterly overhauling his society’s general structure isn’t the best way to approach this, but ultimately at the heart of the Kensurrection lies an important truth: men must be men in order to thrive.

Many of the‌ accomplishments that allowed the West to become the paragon of excellence that it once was​ were achieved through men⁣ pushing each other to achieve great things.

The infamous Bronze Age Pervert articulated this in his book Bronze Age Mindset by arguing ⁣that men‍ were able to once achieve “all great political things, ‍all acts​ of political freedom and power” through “strong friendships between two men, or brotherhoods of‍ men.”

Iron ​sharpens iron, indeed.

This was a ​point further alluded⁣ to in a recently published New York Times⁢ editorial titled: “Is the Cure to Male Loneliness Out on the​ Pickleball Court?” In this piece, Michelle⁢ Cottle states that “The more [she] learn[s] about the epidemic of male loneliness, ‍the‍ more​ [she’s] convinced that America⁤ needs to send its ‌men out to play.” Male​ camaraderie, being thoroughly eschewed in the 21st century, has undeniably facilitated the raging epidemic of ‌loneliness that continues to wreak havoc.

In Sexual Personae: Art and Decadence from Nefertiti to Emily ‍Dickinson, the feminist cultural critic Camille Paglia ⁣wrote that “Men have sacrificed and crippled themselves physically and emotionally to feed, house, and protect women and children. None⁣ of their pain or achievement is registered in feminist​ rhetoric, which ‌portrays men as oppressive⁢ and callous exploiters.”

Male suffering is ‍prominent and pertinent. A society in which men⁢ continue to drop out, overdose, and off themselves ‌is neither conducive to human nor civilizational flourishing.

Oppenheimer ‌and Ken ⁢get this; so should you. Assemble a foursome of the boys and tap into your Kenergy with a double ‌feature of “Barbie” and “Oppenheimer” — the future depends on it.

Samuel Mangold-Lenett‌ is a staff editor at The Federalist. His writing has been‌ featured in the Daily Wire, Townhall, The American Spectator, and other outlets. He is a 2022 ‌Claremont Institute Publius Fellow. Follow him on Twitter @smlenett.