Climate Change Apocalypse Postponed Long Enough For Greta Thunberg To Earn Honorary Theology Doctorate

Former child environmental activist, Greta Thunberg, has been awarded an honorary doctorate by the University of Helsinki’s theology department. The 20-year-old has gained celebrity status and is now known on a first-name basis. The association of climate change with a new secular religion has caused some people to comment that it has the characteristics of a cult. The world is yet to witness the doomsday predictions of climate change come to fruition, similar to Al Gore’s failed 2006 prediction, “Within the decade, there will be no more snows of Kilimanjaro.” Records indicate that the Kilimanjaro snows still exist, yet Gore continues to promote climate change around the world.

In recognition of her work, Thunberg has been awarded the honorary degree for her contributions to extreme weather activism such as staring down President Donald Trump that one time, dropping out of high school and even getting arrested. University of Helsinki Professor, Martti Nissinen, noted the university’s desire to mimic Thunberg’s bravery and impactfulness. Accordingly, Helsinki’s class of 2023 can expect to have her at their 2053 reunion.

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