Crybaby Celebrities Melt Down After Trump Win

The collective leftist celebrity freakout over Trump’s second presidential win has been absolutely insane — and delightful.

While a bit muted compared to Donald Trump’s stunning presidential election victory over quintessential D.C. insider Hillary Clinton in 2016, the gnashing of elitist teeth since the Blue Wall’s fall has been GLORIOUS! Especially for an old conservative boy from flyover country. 

Not So Swift

It turns out the Taylor Swift endorsement wasn’t as important as the self-important pop star and the easily impressed thought it to be. The Swiftie constituency didn’t make a noticeable difference in the end, despite fawning headlines like, “Taylor Swift’s endorsement of Kamala Harris shows how big a role music is playing in the 2024 election.” Well, not so much. 

Katy Perry, Lady Gaga, Beyoncé, and others threw their celebrity weight behind Harris. “All the Single Ladies” didn’t drag Harris’ fatuous campaign over the finish line. Beyoncé never did perform for Harris rallygoers, although it would have been fitting for the superstar to open for the vice president’s concession speech.

Swift has had all kinds of things to say about the 45th — and soon to be 47th — president, none of it very nice. As of late Wednesday afternoon, the childless cat lady held her fire. 

Not so for so many other celebrities, who clearly need to up their Trump Derangement Syndrome prescriptions. 

‘Please Unfollow Me’

Christina Applegate went Shakespeare’s Ophelia on X. You could hear her violent sobs as she electronically screamed about the threat she believes Trump poses to the unfettered ability for women to murder preborn babies. 

“Why? Give me your reasons why?????” Applegate wrote. “My child is sobbing because her rights as a woman may be taken away. Why? And if you disagree, please unfollow me.”

The temper-tantrum over Americans who dared vote for Trump continued.  

“Please unfollow me if you voted against female rights. Against disability rights. Yeah that. Unfollow me because what you did is unreal. Don’t want followers like this. So yeah. Done. Also after today I will be shutting down this fan account that I have had for so many years because this is sick.”

“General Hospital” star Nancy Lee Grahn told her X followers, “I have done all I can do.” Really, the world has asked so much from the soap opera community. 

“I will be deleting all my social media in protection of my daughter. I’m so sorry. May God help us all.” The prayers of the morally corrupt community always mean so much to the average American. 

Bette No More

Someone needs to do a welfare check on Bette Midler. A Bette Check, if you will. Before the election, the star of “Rochelle, Rochelle: A Young Girl’s Strange, Erotic Journey from Milan to Minsk,” had suggested that she would drink Drano should Trump pull a Grover Cleveland and win a second, nonconsecutive term in the White House. On Wednesday, Midler posted a swan song message, a critique on the state of politics and man excerpted from H.L. Mencken, and then just like that … Bette was gone. Her X account, that is. The place where hundreds of thousands of left wing nuts turned to for solace, laughter and wisdom was deactivated.

And I never got to tell her that she’s my hero, the wind beneath my wings. 

Best-selling novelist Stephen King, whose deranged leftist views are much more frightening than his brand of horror, waxed philosophically. 

“There’s a sign you can see in many shops that sell beautiful but fragile items: LOVELY TO LOOK AT, DELIGHTFUL TO HOLD, BUT ONCE YOU BREAK IT, THEN IT’S SOLD. You can say the same about democracy,” wrote King, desperately holding on to the “Trump is Hitler” trope that proved so successful for the Harris campaign.  

Okay, Then Leave Already

So far, we haven’t heard talk of a celebrity exodus as we did in 2016, when the likes of Lena Dunham, Snoop Dogg, Amy Schumer, Samuel L. Jackson, and Cher “threatened” that they would leave the country if Trump won. Yeah, they’re still here. Although I know plenty of conservatives who have said they’d be glad to pick up the tab for one-way tickets out for self-absorbed celebrities. 

Sharon Stone, however, has said she might just skedaddle if faced with another Trump term. Stone, famous for uncrossing her legs, has said she was considering purchasing a getaway home in Italy if Trump wins. 

“I am certainly considering a house in Italy. I think that’s an intelligent construct at this time,” she said. 

“This is one of the first times in my life that I’ve actually seen anyone running for office on a platform of hate and oppression,” the senior citizen actress added. 

Say, Sharon, would you have room for the gals at “The View” in your chalet? What about Whoopi? At least take Whoopi.  

Interestingly, anxiety over the possibility of a President Kamala Harris was so concerning to former NFL running back Le’Veon Bell that he said he would leave the United States. 

‘#Godspeed’

Amazon CEO and Star Trek captain Jeff Bezos seems to be seeking detente in his long feud with Trump, congratulating the president-elect “on an extraordinary political comeback and decisive victory.” 

“Wishing @realDonaldTrump all success in leading and uniting the America we all love,” Bezos wrote on X.

Nice. Ever the opportunist and keen reader of the room, Bezos could read the tea leaves long ago, so much so that he ticked off the grunts at the Washington Post, the propaganda press company he owns, when he opted not to endorse in this election. 

Fellow billionaire Mark Cuban, who has invested a lot of time and money attacking Trump as a top Harris surrogate, conceded that the victor won “fair and square.” 

“Congrats @realDonaldTrump. You won fair and square. Congrats to @elonmusk as well. #Godspeed,” the aging lesbian wrote on his X account. 

Matt Kittle is a senior elections correspondent for The Federalist. An award-winning investigative reporter and 30-year veteran of print, broadcast, and online journalism, Kittle previously served as the executive director of Empower Wisconsin.