Don’t Worry, Maskers. The End Of The Airline Mandate Is Just 14 Days To Flatten Government Overreach

Kylee ZempelApril 20, 2022

Out from the chorus of reasonable Americans celebrating that a federal judge has finally smacked down the Biden administration’s mask mandate for trains, planes, and other transportation, has risen a disgruntled bunch of science-deniers who are making a show of keeping their faces covered.

Don’t Worry, Maskers. The End Of The Airline Mandate Is Just 14 Days To Flatten Government Overreach 1

What they don’t understand is that ditching our masks at 30,000 feet isn’t political or divisive; we’re all in this together. And it certainly isn’t anything to get worked up over: It’s nothing more than 14 days (which may or may not be extended in perpetuity) to flatten the government’s power trip.

Don’t Worry, Maskers. The End Of The Airline Mandate Is Just 14 Days To Flatten Government Overreach 2

Of course, we’ll reevaluate the data and case counts as they emerge so we’re sure to remain 100 percent science-driven. And then we’ll be sure to consult the Transport Workers’ Union of America for help crafting airline mask policies (Er… that was supposed to be a secret).

I’m sorry, but the question needs to be asked: Don’t these perpetual maskers care about other human beings? Seriously, if naked faces protect just one person from depression or one toddler from developmental issues, it’s all worth it. It’s time to prioritize loving our neighbors, folks, and that means acknowledging masklessness as the small sacrifice that it is.

Say it with me: Facial orifice rights are human rights. HUMAN. RIGHTS. But some oppressors just keep systemically muzzling us. How many times do we have to write “My body, my choice” in puffy paint to break through to these people?

If they insist on denying the science on masks and WuFlu mortality by covering their faces, they’re free to do so. But they shouldn’t be surprised when we start socially distancing from them because they’re symptomatic, symptomatic of some sort of brain damage that was likely transmitted from the MSNBC airwaves or mutated from the Stelter variant.

The face-coverers surely won’t like the mandateless “new normal” and all of the side effects that spread from it. For instance, in just the short time since the mandate was lifted, we’ve already seen an incredible increase in confirmed cases of personal freedom and an outbreak of deep breathing. People are finally able to exercise their natural immunity to virtue-signaling and end this epidemic of blindly following Rochelle Walensky. They can’t stand it (which is weird, because we keep calling for unity).

For now, enjoy the fresh air and smiles. Will the mandate return, you ask? Can’t say. I’m not a virologist.

Kylee Zempel is an assistant editor at The Federalist. She previously worked as the copy editor for the Washington Examiner magazine and as an editor and producer at National Geographic. She holds a B.S. in Communication Arts/Speech and an A.S. in Criminal Justice and writes on topics including feminism and gender issues, religious liberty, and criminal justice. Follow her on Twitter @kyleezempel.