Stop glorifying women who openly regret having children.

Exploiting Parenthood: The Dark Side of Abortion Activism

There’s a disgusting genre ⁢in our‍ rabidly ⁣pro-abortion media​ that’s intensified since the Supreme⁤ Court struck‌ down federal prohibitions on laws protecting an unborn baby’s right to live. It involves finding some sad, stressed mother whose ​child ⁣escaped the abortionist’s pincers,⁣ and getting her to tell‌ the ⁢internet ​she wishes that inconvenient, needy, PlayDoh-chucking​ toddler didn’t exist — or at‍ least ​that her ​life would be a whole lot easier‍ without it.

It’s a clear ploy on ‍the media’s part to convince readers: See, ​this⁤ — these things, these messy children — is what happens when you don’t let women​ get abortions! None of ⁤the​ parties⁣ involved seem to care that those sticky-fingered toddlers will someday be teenagers with internet access, able to see every ⁢word their parents griped about them.

The Guardian’s Controversial Column

On Monday, The Guardian⁣ ran a column by a woman named Amanda Montei, who compared the sacrifices of motherhood to… a‌ high school incident⁢ when a boy on whom she had ‌a crush took advantage of an opportunity to sleep with her in a‌ plot ⁣“concocted by ⁣his ​friends” and then “never spoke to [her] again.”

Complaining about her toddler daughter’s dependence and using grossly sexual language‌ to describe the child’s very natural physical needs and ⁢curiosities toward her mother, Montei issued her conclusion: “I came ⁣to see that the ⁣basic tenets of rape⁤ culture run through our cultural expectations ​of American mothers.”

Montei doesn’t explicitly use the word “abortion”⁢ in the⁣ passage, but she ⁢preaches the foundational message on which abortion activism depends: that it’s not fair⁢ to mothers for‌ their children to make demands on them,⁣ especially inconvenient ones. In her last sentence, she mourns “what I hadn’t known before consenting” to ‌becoming a mother. ‍What she would have done if ​she ⁤had “known,” the reader is left to ​wonder.

The Washington Post’s Heartbreaking Feature

A month earlier, The Washington Post dropped a nearly 6,000-word feature about ⁤Brooke⁣ and Billy High and their​ twin toddlers, coldly titled “An abortion ban made them teen parents. This is life two years later.”

In her carefree‌ life before it was interrupted by the girls’ existence, Brooke was “gearing up for‌ real estate​ school, enjoying long days at the beach with ⁤her ⁢new boyfriend,” the ⁤Post explained. ⁣When she got pregnant, Billy “wanted her to get an abortion” at first, he admitted to the Post. But since “she could‌ no longer get an abortion ‌in ​Texas,”​ Brooke had no​ choice but to keep her daughters, who⁤ were born “six months later.”

The ⁢girls ⁣deserve better than ​to have the whole world read that their mother wondered to a reporter, “If I would have had the abortion…”‍ They deserve⁣ better⁣ than to feel guilt about ⁣their own existence, told by some⁢ reporter in ‍Washington⁢ that if they weren’t alive, their‌ father could be “Skating every day. Partying at night. No worries.”​ They don’t deserve to have their parents’ discussions of divorce publicly displayed ​in⁤ a‌ national newspaper. But the editors at the Post don’t ​care, because the moments when the twins’ parents find them ⁤inconvenient are ⁤helpful to the outlet’s favored narrative. (To Brooke and Billy’s‌ credit, they’re trying to make things ‌work, with ⁣no help from ‌The Washington Post.)

There are plenty of other⁤ examples, and many of the headlines follow a similar pattern.

Stories of Regret and ‌Guilt

“She Wasn’t Ready ⁤for Children. A Judge Wouldn’t​ Let Her‌ Have an Abortion,” reads ‌one from The New York Times Magazine. The author writes about a woman named Giselle, a mom ⁤of​ twins, who tried to ⁤obtain an abortion as a minor without parental consent in ⁤Texas. ​The story records her pro-con⁣ list for the decision:

“Cons: Killing something growing inside of⁤ me. Guilt. Constant guilt from​ others. Pros: Continue life without being pushed​ back. Freedom.”

Once the court denied Giselle’s attempt​ and she had the ‍babies, her frustrations with raising ⁣them are described in words that are⁤ haunting to read as‌ a stranger, let alone as the unwanted children.

“Sometimes, she was haunted by ‌images of smothering them ​with a‍ pillow ‍or‍ chucking them‌ across the room,” the article states. It ends with Giselle ‍undecided about whether ⁢to keep custody of her children or let a friend’s parents raise them.

Media outlets ⁣exploit these families’ stories to‍ advance an agenda that suggests​ a child’s ⁣value is linked to how much his⁣ parents want him, or⁢ whether his existence provides enough happiness to outweigh the sacrifices his life requires. They​ are hoping, even⁣ goading the struggling parents to communicate,⁢ as troubled actress Lena Dunham put bluntly:⁢ “I ‌still haven’t had an abortion, but I wish I had.”

Some women cut out the middleman and write the articles themselves. In 2021, Merritt​ Tierce wrestled in The New York Times Magazine about “The Abortion ⁤I Didn’t Have.”

“I didn’t abort the pregnancy I ⁤didn’t‍ plan, ⁢but I did have to abort the​ life I imagined‍ for myself,” wrote Tierce, who ‍has since ⁣become a pro-abortion activist. She admits that she’s afraid of the effect on her⁢ son of “this idea that working for access to abortion is so important to me because it’s exactly what I didn’t ⁣have when I got pregnant​ with him.” But ⁢that fear doesn’t stop ⁢her from publicly​ recounting in great detail just how ‍much his‍ existence threw off her ‌life.

She also ⁣admits ‌to​ later having two abortions after the births of her son and ‌his younger ⁣sister, and ⁢says she ⁤doesn’t ⁤regret them. “I have⁣ strong ⁣and loving relationships with both of my children now in​ large part ‌because I didn’t have those ⁣other children,” she wrote.

Can you imagine hearing from your mother: My relationship with‍ you⁣ is better because I killed your‍ siblings?

It ⁣causes nothing ⁣but pain to children​ for parents to air their dirty diapers — er, laundry — to a national media audience. Sometimes it’s women running ⁣to news outlets, ‍begging to air their familial grievances for clout or sympathy. ⁤Equally as often, agenda-driven publications ‍find a struggling family and‍ bake their challenges into a pre-ordained ​narrative with no regard for the family’s privacy‌ or dignity. Still, shouldn’t‌ some core ⁢maternal warning light go off‌ when a New York Times​ reporter⁢ knocks on your door ⁣and asks to ‌shop your motherhood woes out to their readers?

I hope the children griped about in these stories never feel unwanted, never ​read these cold stories in ⁤which⁣ they ‍are unwilling pawns.‍ I hope as they⁤ grow​ up, their kitchen tables and bedsides host loving conversations ​with parents who use the stories of hardship to teach‍ lessons about the value​ of sacrifice and‌ unconditional love.

Lots ⁤of parents who found​ themselves with an unwanted pregnancy have stories of gratitude for the “inconvenience” that became their greatest blessing. Those stories, lovingly‍ told, convey to​ a⁤ child ⁤his preciousness and worth. If these children are ⁣going to read stories about themselves on the internet someday, those are the ones they deserve.