Health Officials Murder Fox Who Allegedly Bit Democrat, Journalist

Fox’s family also in government custody, fate unknown

Tim Rice • April 6, 2022 4:30 pm

Washington, D.C., health officials on Wednesday assassinated the fox whose willingness to stand up to Democrats and the mainstream media made her an instant celebrity.

Known widely as the Capitol Fox, the vixen was spotted on Capitol Hill Tuesday and made headlines after biting Rep. Ami Bera (D., Calif.) and Ximena Bustillo, a reporter at THE POLITICO. D.C. health officials also captured the Capitol Fox’s children, and are “still looking into what to do with them,” Fox News reports.

A D.C. Health Department spokesman claimed the Capitol Fox was “responsible for nine confirmed bites,” though only Bera and Bustillo have come forward. Both Bera and Bustillo seemed to remain in good spirits following the incidents, sharing photos and fox emojis.

Just hours before the vulpine killing, Bera took to Twitter to ominously convey his hopes that “the [fox] and its family are safely relocated.” As of press time, the Sacramento lawmaker had not commented on the Capitol Fox’s death.

Bustillo, who covers agriculture for THE POLITICO, used the incident to fawn over local journalists and plug her own reporting. Unlike Bustillo, the reporter did manage to comment on the Capitol Fox’s death, tweeting “Fox update :(.”