Ian Haworth: Its Time To Call Out Eric “Fang Fang Bang Bang” Swalwell

When you think of recent “failed presidential candidates,” several names will likely come to mind. 

Kamala Harris — now Vice President despite calling Joe Biden a racist who was probably guilty of sexual harassment and/or assault, Pete Buttigieg — whose claim-to-fame is being gay and liking trains, and Robert “Beto” O’Rourke — whose insistence on wasting millions of dollars of campaign funds on his perpetual pursuit of power knows no bounds. These are all names that will probably be top of your list.

But it’s time to mention one particular failed candidate whose continued country-endangering petulance needs to be called out: Eric Swalwell.

Swalwell’s 2020 campaign was essentially dead-on-arrival. After announcing his candidacy on the hard-hitting political analysis show, The Late Show with Stephen Colbert — making Stephen Colbert the funniest man on stage for once — Swalwell participated in one debate where he whined from the edge of relevance. After his polling average failed to rise about 1%, he withdrew, and ever since, he’s been battling Marjorie Taylor Greene and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez for the “Dumbest Member of Congress” award.

Of course, it’s no surprise that the man who effectively threatened gun owners with nuclear weapons will do quite literally anything for attention. This includes trying to draw “straight lines” between law-abiding Second Amendment advocates and mass shooters to push his political agenda, leveraging children to push his political agenda, and gleefully standing on the graves of COVID-19 victims to…you guessed it…push his political agenda.

But while making fun of Eric Swalwell for his cringeworthy ineptitude — oh, and the fact he audibly farted on national television — is enjoyable, there’s a far deeper problem with the Congressman from California.

That he (probably) banged a Chinese spy.

In an exclusive investigative piece in December 2020, Axios revealed that a “suspected Chinese spy targeted California politicians.”

“A suspected Chinese intelligence operative developed extensive ties with local and national politicians, including a U.S. congressman, in what U.S. officials believe was a political intelligence operation run by China’s main civilian spy agency between 2011 and 2015, Axios found in a yearlong investigation.”

According to Axios, a Chinese national named Fang Fang “targeted up-and-coming local politicians in the Bay Area and across the country who had the potential to make it big on the national stage,” gaining access to high-profile figures through “campaign fundraising, extensive networking, personal charisma, and romantic or sexual relationships.”

The report stated that Eric Swalwell was one of Fang Fang’s targets, who had helped fundraise for his 2014 re-election campaign, and placed “at least one intern in Swalwell’s office, according to those same two people, and interacted with Swalwell at multiple events over the course of several years.”

Of course, Swalwell has denied that he shared any sensitive information with the suspected Chinese spy, and has refused to say whether he had sex with Fang Fang. Maybe it was just Swalwell’s boyish good looks, or stunning intellect, that had Fang Fang in a mood to bang bang? What else could she possibly be interested in?

Since Swalwell is a Democrat, it’s probable that we’ll never know the truth of the information Fang Fang was able to gain (if any), or whether the Congressman ever got (dim) sum. Regardless, his continued presence on the national stage is frankly outrageous given the undeniable fact that he previously allowed a suspected Chinese agent to influence his inner circle, and he now sits on the House Intelligence and Homeland Security committees…!

Yes, Congress is addled with ironic-at-best committee assignments, including Maxine Waters (one of the most corrupt members of Congress) chairing the House Committee on Financial Services, or Ilhan Omar (an open apologist for terrorism and raging anti-Semite) sitting on the House Foreign Affairs Committee.

But if we can’t even agree that a Congressman who fell victim to a suspected Chinese espionage agent shouldn’t be within 1,000 miles of Homeland Security or Intelligence briefings, we might as well give up on basic reality and make Eric Swalwell President of the United States.

At least he’ll know the best Chinese restaurants in town.

Follow Ian Haworth on Twitter.