If You’re Hysterical About Trump’s Tariffs, Go Touch Grass

X is not real life, but its tentacles slither into the increasingly online landscape that defines real life. It’s not X’s fault; it has merely become an incubator of a trend launched years ago by the 24-hour news cycle. Really, then, much of our modern malaise is the fault of Ted Turner, a man so wise he saw fit to marry Jane Fonda in 1991, well after she had publicly aired her crazy in myriad ways. 

And while information is good, there’s only so much of it that comes out in a day, which leaves lots of hours left to fill. Hence, the terrain quickly shifted from constant news to constant hysteria. Which is fine, if toting a fainting couch around with you is your thing, but there’s really no need to live this way. Take, for example, the latest outrage to animate us all: President Trump’s tariffs. 

Whether the tariffs are good, bad, or somewhere in between is immaterial. At the very least, they provide comedic relief in the form of a 10 percent tariff on the Heard and McDonald Islands, an Australian territory occupied primarily by penguins. It also has active volcanoes, which is not something we should want imported, though, so perhaps the tariffs are good. On the other hand, maybe we do need more penguins and the tariff will hinder the supply. In either case, I’m withholding umbrage. 

In this scenario, more people should be like me. It is unhealthy to spend so much time worrying about the daily stories that percolate on X before dripping out into the mainstream, making people panic about world war, their 401(k), or the manufactured stories that provide outrage on slower news days. This is where the concept of touching grass, a meme that remains important even as its popularity has waned, was borne. It is wholly unnecessary to be bothered by every gyration of the world. 

Back to the tariffs, markets, and 401(k)s, a long-held rule of investing is that you shouldn’t pay attention to the daily movements. In the world spawned by the 24-hour cycle, it’s oh so tempting to do so, and it can make for great online dunks to point out that the Nasdaq, S&P, and Dow are down, but when one zooms out to longer timelines, the pictures look much different. 

Such trends are boring, if comforting, though, so we tend not to discuss those, instead focusing on histrionic proclamations about oncoming destruction of biblical proportions. Debate is fun, and it’s important to discuss policy, but it’s also important to remember to stay in one’s lane. 

To take an example from my own life, I recently completed coursework to become a real estate agent. Among the things I learned was that not every agent is a realtor, a designation that requires one to fill out some paperwork and pay dues, as with so many titles in life. (Will I do that? Undoubtedly, because they have good marketing, and I don’t want to confuse normal people who don’t know there’s a distinction.) The other big thing I learned, beyond a bunch of legal definitions about tenancy that I will never need in my life, is to steadfastly refuse to step outside my scope of expertise. The practice test was littered with questions to which the proper answer was, “You should talk to an attorney about that.” 

In 24-hour newsrooms and especially on social media, almost no one is responding with, “You should consult an expert about this topic.” This is not helped by the fact that many experts are anything but. Naturally, this does not lessen the collective alarm brought on by the outrage du jour but instead intensifies it. 

Maybe, then, we should not allow ourselves to get sucked into the panics! sprawling before us every day. Being opposed to things isn’t a personality any more than being in favor of them is. Cultivate real hobbies, talk to your neighbors, take a walk without headphones, go fishing. Do something, anything, besides falling for the world Ted Turner built. For he is a man who not only married Jane Fonda when she was well past her prime but also donated $1 billion (!) in support of the decrepit terror sponsors at the United Nations.

That he convinced people the best way to save an endangered species is to eat it is not enough to cancel out those more destructive tendencies, ones that are currently making us spend too much time yelling at one another.

Richard Cromwell is a writer and senior contributor at The Federalist. He lives in Northwest Arkansas with his wife, three daughters, and two crazy dogs. Co-host of the podcast Coffee & Cochon, you can find him on Facebook and Twitter, though you should probably avoid using social media.