'I'm a Caucasian Woman:' Microsoft Event Highlights the Future of Woke Capitalism

Lucas NolanNovember 6, 2021

Microsoft’s recent Ignite conference provided insight into the future of woke capitalism as presenters apologized for working in an office that is built on land previously controlled by Native Americans and introduced themselves by describing not only their pronouns, but their race and physical appearance.

“Hello, and welcome to Microsoft Ignite! We’ve got a big day ahead and lots in store for you,” said the host of Microsoft’s recent Ignite event in which the company showcased its various new products and features. The host then continued: “First, we want to acknowledge that the land where the Microsoft office is situated was traditionally occupied by the Sammamish, the Duwamish, the Snoqualmie, the Suquamish, the Muckleshoot, the Snohomish, the Tulalip, and other coast Salish people’s since time immemorial.”

Footage of the intro can be seen below:

Woke Capital incarnate. pic.twitter.com/KHlfMzjOt9

— Balaji Srinivasan (@balajis) November 4, 2021

In another clip, the presentation hosts begin by introducing themselves not only by their pronouns, but physically describing their race and how they look. “I’m a caucasian woman with long blonde hair, and I go by she/her. I’m a product marketing lead here at Microsoft and co-host of the podcast Security Unlocked, with this guy ” says one host gesturing to the man beside her. He responds, “I’m a caucasian man with glasses and a beard, I go by he/him and I’m a security evangelist here at Microsoft.”

The pseudonymous economy is preferable to ritualistic announcements of immutable characteristics. It would be more accessible for the disabled as well.

It’s not everyone’s ideal outcome, but it’s far better than this.pic.twitter.com/uSDZnt2Vla

— Balaji Srinivasan (@balajis) November 4, 2021

The physical descriptions were reportedly an attempt to help visually impaired listeners:

With the flurry of comments I wanted to pause and say: Hosts and guests at Microsoft Ignite were provided the option to give a visual description. The intent was to provide those who are visually impaired or blind with a mental image for the event. This is similar to how one

— Natalia Godyla (@NataliaGodyla) November 5, 2021

People across social media were quick to ridicule the event and troll Microsoft over the new woke protocol its employees must perform. Some began trolling Microsoft’s support chat, demanding that operators describe what they’re wearing, what their ethnicity is, and acknowledge the various native tribes that may have been displaced hundreds of years ago in the same area that Microsoft’s office is situated.

Microsoft asked for this pic.twitter.com/hvsYa5tauq

— Libs of Tik Tok (@libsoftiktok) November 5, 2021

Many posts across social media ridiculed the conference:

Junior Soprano joins the new woke Microsoft Ignite team. pic.twitter.com/tvIuWiQflX

— RhysHole✌️ (@rhyshalliwell) November 4, 2021

We’re hitting levels of wokery that were once thought to be impossible. This is truly uncharted territory into the minds of madness!https://t.co/uAcULRuCtg

— Dave Evans (@DaveTheEpic) November 5, 2021

I cant even… the stupid is beyond belief

Why would you need to describe yourself visually? For blind people? … which can’t use the products and are 0% of the user base? Why does the color of a shirt or skin matter in tech products?#MicrosoftIgnite https://t.co/ltKstfDFaP

— Andrew Witte (@zezba9000) November 5, 2021

Is it good to help the disabled? Of course! Just like it is good to help victims of trauma/assault, racial and sexual minorities.

But common sense should come into play at some point! I shouldn’t have to explain why a habit of declaring ones race and gender in a meeting is bad!

— Sarah Haider 👾 (@SarahTheHaider) November 5, 2021

Watch more of the conference on Microsoft’s YouTube page here.

Lucas Nolan is a reporter for Breitbart News covering issues of free speech and online censorship. Follow him on Twitter @LucasNolan_ or email him at [email protected].