Kurt Schlichter: No to Nikki Harris

Wait, did I say Nikki Harris? Although I meant Nikki Haley it is a very common error. A good friend of mine in politics pointed this out to me recently: Nikki Haley’s Kamala-Harris is the Republican Party’s Kamala. Nikki now says she wants the presidency, and announces her doomed candidacy to the world with hilariously hackneyed but overwrought fanfare (“Now is the time for a strong and proud America!”Even though anyone with half a brain can see she is trying to position herself for the vice-presidential nomination when either Donald Trump, Ron DeSantis or her are nominated, it’s clear that she really only wants to be the nominee. It’s exactly the kind of cynical, shameless move this cynical, shameless striver would make – and that her Democrat doppelganger did make.

Nikki, like Kamala is all wrong with her party. Kamala is Hillary Lite. She’s slightly bitter and a lot dumber but equally sincere. Nikki, Jeb! A skirt, temperamentally stable and soft, but far more ambitious than the human puffball that begged us to “Please clap“As he awaited the coronation he was expecting.

Vapid. Overrated. Unaccomplished despite her credentials. Nikki Haley is the Peter Principle in person, a tired, empty pantsuit who’s driven by a pure, shameless ambition to compensate for her lack of talent. Kamala and she both want to be president. America stupid enough to allow one of them to be president deserves the pain that is sure to follow. Yes, I will vote for her in general, if the GOP is crazy enough to nominate it, but the fact that her moderate fecklessness seems marginally better than the communist chumps is damnation with faint praise.

She’s actually just Kamala Harris. Montel Williams baggage. Kamala was once viewed as a brave up-and comer, a bright young talent from out west who could bring together disparate parts the Democrat Party. This was a long, long time ago. Kamala was California’s attorney general. She was terrible. But fortunately, objective consideration of a Democrat’s job performance is no longer a thing. Lucky for Pete Buttigieg, too – he’s an utterly untalented hack who has screwed up everything he touches – go to Ohio and take a deep breath and understand – yet he’s still counted as a first-rank potential nominee and Kamala’s main competitor. Kamala simply showed up to the Senate for a few years and voted for the approved crap. Then she ran for president. Only then did the extent of her mediocrity become apparent. Joe Biden, a legendary man of mediocrity, saved her. He knows something about the benefits of having a halfwit to be your veep.

Kamala is a reliable voter for whatever party is currently in fashion. When Democrats were pretending to be tough on crime, she locked up potheads – well, I guess she had to get something right sometime. She was on hand to bail out the looters, drug addicts, and thugs when crime was back in fashion. She’s a parody on a Democrat with more bizarre rhapsodies. Yellow school buses.

Except that no one in her party likes her. She is not wanted by anyone. But there she is, plotting and plotting in the White House ready to throw aside anyone who gets ahead her on the ladder. If President Badfinger sent me a plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies, I would test them on one of my vicious dogs, or throw them out the window as I headed to Delaware. 

Nikki Haley served as governor of South Carolina. She distinguished herself by giving in to the mob and sacrificing the state flag. It’s not that the rebel flag is any great shakes – guys flying it burned down the Schlichters’ hometown of Chambersburg a couple of times, and we hold grudges – but it was her sanctimonious acceptance of the whole narrative behind the faux outrage that exposed her inner establishment conformist. She bought the Bubba Wallace noose because she did. She cares about what the establishment thinks. She cares about the opinions of the media. She cares about the opinions of her consultants. She thinks that what you, the conservative base, consider scary and frightening. If it is necessary to win, she will pretend to be happy with it.

You can only guess what Nikki Haley will do if you put your finger to the wind. She is a consultant-driven expert in conventional wisdom who spews tired. “Let’s build bridges to a better tomorrow”From 2005, a dross-type. She seems to be on the verge if demanding conservative ruffians not to get too involved and let the adults speak.  

You can see that her heart is not in conservatism even when she is correct, which she often is, simply because she covers herself in conservatism. She got Huffy with me When That was what I saw. As if John Brennan was the problem, she was hanging out as John Brennan with her. Because she was a good UN ambassador, she was able to say no to Third-World potentates and commies. She met our minimum standard. But what apple cart did her overturn? Although the krauts continue to moan about Ric Grenell’s tenure as ambassador for Germany, few people remember Nikki’s actions except to suck up Trump.

He stopped being useful because of all the sucking she did. Trump now rumours that she begged him for Mike Pence’s resignation and to put her on his 2020 ticket. It’s possible that it’s true but it sure feels real. She can’t help but see the president begging her to give her the job. Who is surprised that she broke her pledge not to run against Trump when it became too difficult? Okay, she could do it to save her country. But Nikki won’t save anything. We thought that Nikki was the last GOP decline manager from the OOs.

Despite the fact the base is against her for her lack of basisness (there are idiots and alleged conservatives who attack her name, heritage and identity and they should be shunned 1) because they are classless and stupid 2) because they made me defend Nikki Haley), she has been building the foundation for this campaign for some time. She created one of those PACs with a name such as “The Forum for Eagles, Families, America, and Eagles” That duns senior citizens for donations using pleas such as “Help Nikki save America from the threat of badness!” Her Twitter feed is littered with repetitive, simple declarations that go along the lines of “We need to empower people to realize their dreams!” “I like America and I don’t care who that offends!” And “Now is not the time to hold back—now is the time for a strong and proud America. [fist emoji] [flag emoji].” Surprisingly and embarrassingly, the last one is real.

The video of her pre-announcement is Absolutely hilarious in how basic it is – it’s like she got a bunch of consultants who tried to program her with hardcore America Firstism and ended up with her vomiting out the same kind of painfully awkward faux toughness of Mitt Romney insisting he’s “severely conservative.” It’s a fake act. She’ll be selling us out to the Jeb if she is elected! You’ll be selling the Jeb to the right wing quicker than you can say it! “We should all reach across the aisle to grasp a better tomorrow!” You know that she would absolutely say, “We should all reach across the aisle to grasp a better tomorrow!” 

You have to give Nikki credit for putting together a coherent hack cliches, whereas Kamala’s are completely illogical. At least Nikki’s consultants can cobble together coherent hack clichés while Kamala’s make absolutely no sense at all. 

For Republicans, Nikki Haley is just as bad as Kamala Harris. Both of them are over-ambitious mediocrities, who only believe in the urgency of their own success. Both parties are aware of this. Amazingly, Kamala has a lower popularity than her senile counterpart. Nikki Haley polls at 2%. Those 2% are also drunk. No one wants either one of them to be president – they are both hoping to make up for their unpopularity with the sheer intensity of their wanting it for themselves.

Both policy and practice are secondary. Conservatism, like liberalism for Kamala was for Kamala is Nikki’s pretend hobby horse she hopes to use to ride into DC with a gig as an veep and then make the big step to the Oval Office. There is no evidence that she believes in conservatism in the 2023 version. It’s a consultant-driven act, resurrected in 2003. When she could have instructed them to pound the sand, she wilted before the SJWs. She is awkwardly hawkish and a mirror of what she believes Republicans should look like. She doesn’t have the same contempt for the establishment as Trump, and she has not shown the same track record of supporting the libs like Ron DeSantis. For her, policy is irrelevant. She wants to be president one day, just like her double Kamala. We must stop them both.

Follow Kurt via Twitter @KurtSchlichter. Get InfernoThe seventh book of the Kelly Turnbull Series is titled. People’s Republic A series of conservative action novels, set in America following a fictional national divorce. We’ll Be There: The Rise and Fall of America. 

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