‘Neil DeGrinch Tyson’: Astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson Dragged For Sucking The Magic Out Of Christmas

Acclaimed astrophysicist Neil DeGrasse Tyson became the subject of ridicule after he spent most of the day Christmas Eve offering scientific explanations debunking the holiday myths that delight and amuse kids worldwide.

Tyson began with the North Pole, saying that artist’s renderings that showed Santa’s village were not geographically accurate because the actual North Pole is in the Arctic Ocean.

“Since the Northern Arctic is just ocean, Santa’s North Pole workshop has only ever existed on a floating sheet of ice,” he tweeted. “Images that portray Santa’s workshop with pine trees and snow-capped hills on the horizon are geographically underinfomred[sic].”

Since the Northern Arctic is just ocean, Santa’s North Pole workshop has only ever existed on a floating sheet of ice.

Images that portray Santa’s workshop with pine trees and snow-capped hills on the horizon are geographically underinfomred. pic.twitter.com/zyGpAPfMAt

— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 24, 2021

“They do not want anyone to have fun, especially kids. Neil deGrinch Tyson,” actor Matthew Marsden replied.

Comedian Matt Oswalt added, “Now gather ’round kids and let me tell you the real story of Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. We begin in Chernobyl…”

“BOOM: Neil deGrasse Tyson makes little girl cry by trashing her Christmas drawing. “Maybe one day you’ll learn geography and won’t draw terrible pictures, sweetie,” Noam Blum replied.

But Tyson continued with a dig at Santa’s weight, suggesting that kids should leave carrot and celery sticks for the famously-round jolly old elf in an effort to help him shed a few unhealthy pounds: “If people left carrots, celery, & hot tea for Santa on the table instead of milk & cookies, I bet he’d be much, much thinner.”

If people left carrots, celery, & hot tea for Santa on the table instead of milk & cookies, I bet he’d be much, much thinner. pic.twitter.com/HBIsNmMjx1

— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 24, 2021

“Why not just leave him meth? He’d be thin as a rail and get twice as many presents delivered,” was one reply.

Writer Michael Harriot offered an explanation, adding, “The extra weight keeps him warm in the North Pole and provides balance for the sleigh since the back is loaded with toys. Plus, on one night a year, he actually burns all those carbs You must have missed that day in physics.”

Tyson then pivoted to bring climate change into the discussion, claiming that Santa would one day lose his home entirely and someone would likely find him clinging for dear life to a shrinking ice-floe.

As Earth warms, and Arctic ice melts, Santa will lose his habitat too. We may one day see photos of him clutched to an ice floe. pic.twitter.com/JSILAbHHB8

— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 24, 2021

Tyson went on to address the physics of Santa’s one-night journey around the world, arguing that the laws of physics dictate the sleigh — along with Santa, his reindeer, and all the gifts — would vaporize.

“For Santa to deliver gifts to all world’s Christians in one night requires hypersonic speeds through Earth’s lower atmosphere, vaporizing his reindeer & sleigh,” he tweeted.

For Santa to deliver gifts to all world’s Christians in one night requires hypersonic speeds through Earth’s lower atmosphere, vaporizing his reindeer & sleigh.

Just sayin’. pic.twitter.com/ONkW4HyBYa

— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 24, 2021

“Thanks for clearing that up for us,” actress Gates McFadden (“Star Trek: The Next Generation”) replied.

“Like Santa is limited by Newtonian physics,” film and television producer Franklin Leonard added.

“Then how do you explain all these f***ing presents, Neil,” author James Felton asked.

Tyson’s next tweet also focused on the reindeer, as he noted that because male reindeer shed their antlers in the fall, Rudolf has been “misgendered.”

Santa doesn’t know Zoology:

Both male & female Reindeer grow antlers. But all male Reindeer lose their antlers in the late fall, well-before Christmas.

So Santa’s reindeer, which all sport antlers, are therefore all female, which means Rudolf has been misgendered. pic.twitter.com/03skVxyYRE

— Neil deGrasse Tyson (@neiltyson) December 25, 2021

“You are like bad rightwing satire,” writer Chad Felix Green replied, although the most common response to Tyson’s tweet was that it was obvious Rudolf was transgender.

Several of those commenting noted that Tyson posts a similar thread every Christmas.

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