Nikki Haley = Hillary 2.0

Why⁢ Nikki Haley’s Campaign Falls Flat

Of all⁤ the⁤ terrible things about Nikki‌ Haley —‌ her​ enthusiasm‍ for more foreign war​ funding, her deference to​ corporate cultural ⁢assault — the⁢ cringe-worthy attempts to⁣ hype her status as a ​woman (A‍ mom! ⁣A wife!) and Indian‌ (“I’m a minority first!,” “I’m as diverse as it gets!”) are the⁣ least offensive. But it’s still really, really ⁤ bad.

Her whole campaign is Hillary 2.0.

Haley currently ‍polls nationally at less than‌ 5 percent, and it’s the same in early⁤ Republican primary states Iowa and New Hampshire, so there aren’t a ton of reasons to spend time thinking about her. But it’s truly⁣ awe-inspiring⁣ that there exist Republicans who still believe there’s anything to gain from the party’s voters by rubbing their faces in ⁤identity politics rot.

When have ‌Republicans ever showed any appetite for⁤ it? They haven’t. They don’t ⁢care. It’s​ only interesting⁣ to the extent that ethnic minorities and women who ⁢run for ‌office⁤ as ​Republicans‌ are contrary‍ to the racist media’s⁤ preferred narrative. Outside of that, ​it’s⁣ meaningless and has no bearing on a ⁢voter’s decision to trust any given ⁣candidate with power.

Haley has already ‌disqualified herself for the nomination by cheering on more war between Ukraine and Russia, stupidly undermining the only Republican senator trying⁣ to uphold the law ⁢that abortions ​not be funded​ with taxpayer money,‍ and ceding authority to corporations that​ promote gross left-wing​ social causes.

It’s only a ⁢bonus that she thinks⁤ there’s something novel or compelling about being a nonwhite woman. In an interview ⁣with ⁢Politico published Thursday, Haley was asked about the​ first GOP presidential ⁢debate next ‍week. “The fellas are going ‌to ‍do what the fellas are gonna do,” she said.

See? Because she’s not one of ‌the fellas. She’s a woman! She’s unique! It’s cool!

At the Iowa State⁢ Fair last weekend, ⁢Haley walked around‌ in a shirt that said, “UNDERESTIMATE ME — THAT’LL BE FUN.”

Get it? She’s a​ woman! And she’s in the primary up against nothing but men! And she’s a minority! Whoa!‍ Brave!

Also at the fair, she⁣ responded ⁤to one question by ‌declaring herself ⁤“a minority first,” which proved she’s “as⁢ diverse as it ‍gets.” (For good measure, ⁤she threw in that ⁣“minorities are smart.”)

Haley continues ​to ⁢desperately milk⁤ the teat ‍of Don Lemon having⁤ said on CNN a whole six months ​ago that she “isn’t in her prime.” At‌ this moment, her⁤ campaign’s merchandise store⁤ — yes, ⁣Nikki Haley swag actually ​exists — features six items with ‍reference‌ to the “in her prime”​ remark. A personal favorite is the set of drink can koozies that say, “Past my prime? Hold my beer.”

You go, lady candidate!

Some other fun ⁤products include a “women for Nikki” shirt; a T-shirt ​that says, “If you want something said, ask a man. If you want something done,⁤ ask a woman” (with the word “woman” in italics); and ‍multiple other items that say, “Sometimes it ⁢takes a woman” (a paraphrase of‍ Hillary Clinton’s 2019 bleat, “It often takes a woman…”).

It’s as if Haley is running an experiment to see how hard she can make ⁤Republicans wince.⁤ During her‍ campaign ‌launch, she said in her speech, “I don’t put up with bullies. And when you kick back, it hurts them more if you’re wearing heels.”

Is Nikki Haley a ⁣woman, ⁤yes‌ or no? ⁢Yes or ‌no. Look ⁤at me. ​SAY IT.

An unofficial slogan of the Haley campaign⁢ is some variation ⁣of, “Send a bad-ss woman to the White House.”

July 3: “It’s time to send a bad-ss Republican woman⁣ to⁤ the White House.”

June 30: “We⁣ need ‍to send a bad-ss Republican woman‌ to this White House.”

June 4: “It’s ⁣time to put ​a ‌bad-ss woman ⁤in ‍the ‌White House.”

Hey, ⁣now, SHE’s a firecracker! You ​don’t‍ wanna mess with HER!

Motherhood, marriage, and heritage don’t overwhelm ⁢Republican voters because none of it is⁤ impressive. ​Those qualities are⁢ either basic human goals or matters ⁢of pure luck of the draw. ⁤But ⁢if Nikki⁤ Haley wants to run as Hillary Clinton 2.0, she’s doing just fine. The outcome will be⁣ the same.