Six ’80s Classics That Deserve the ‘Top Gun’ Treatment 

Hollywood loves to copy success stories until the ink runs dry on the studio printer.

After  “Halloween” made horror history in 1978, “Friday the 13th” emerged among dozens of inferior slasher clones. Similarly, the 1981 classic “Raiders of the Lost Ark” gave way to “Romancing the Stone,” “Firewalker” and “King Solomon’s Mines.”

So Hollywood will likely try to replicate the runaway success of “Top Gun: Maverick” the only way it knows how – bringing other ’80s classics back from the cinematic grave. In fact, it’s already doing so with 1987’s “Dirty Dancing.” Only, it’s not that easy – and not just because two “Dirty Dancing” projects already crashed and burned (a prequel and TV remake, to be exact).

“Top Gun” has a special place in the hearts of many movie goers, and star Tom Cruise refuses to age as he stares down his upcoming 60th birthday on July 3. Still, the following ’80s classics could be updated with the right cultural finesse.

“Ferris Bueller’s Day Off”

Creator John Hughes is gone, but a sequel built around Matthew Broderick’s iconic character could work if the studio gets creative. What if Ferris was now a middle-aged worker drone, pummeled by a brutal mortgage and loveless marriage? Picture Broderick’s antihero summoning that ol’ Ferris spirit one more time, rekindling his former self in the process.

Teens gravitated toward Ferris in the ’80s because he was the ultimate rebel – smart, sassy and eager to blaze his own trail. Today’s 40- and 50-somethings could use their own Ferris Bueller, especially at a time when simply sharing the wrong joke on Twitter can bring both doom and gloom.

“Major League”

Baseball looks very different than it did in this 1989 comedy smash. Sure, there were a couple of sequels back in the day (’94 & ’98), but why not give the kids of these classic characters a chance at World Series glory? And, along the way, satirize just how much the game, and the culture around it, has changed?

Think of Willie Mays Hayes, Jr. balancing his bustling Instagram account and outfield duties. Imagine an older, wiser Wild Thing (Charlie Sheen) giving the new pitching prospect tips on closing out games – and handling groupies. Picture Juan Cerrano, son of Pedro (Dennis Haysbert), getting heat for cultural appropriation with his pre-game rituals.  

Social media meltdowns. Triple-digit contracts. Kneeling superstars. There’s plenty of hay to be made with a new “Major League.”

“The ’Burbs”

In this 1989 film, Tom Hanks gets spooked by his neighbors, a ghoulish clan with murky intentions. The movie captured the cloistered nature of the modern suburb, where middle-class types get a tad too nosy about their neighborhood.

How can Hollywood bring this story into the 21st century you ask? Enter Karen: the modern menace who does more than snoop and peep. The rise of Karens nationwide is perfect fodder for a new “Burbs” installment – one loaded with Nextdoor-fueled arguments, Ring doorbell videos and, once again, snoopy neighbors.

And, yes, 2021 already delivered a movie literally called “Karen.” That film ranks among the worst of the year, and for good reason.

“Footloose”

The 2011 remake with rising, and falling, star Kenny Wormald went nowhere. Why? The 1984 original, as raw as it remains, captured the essence of dance corralled by a fire and brimstone preacher (John Lithgow). The remake couldn’t capture that same soul, and audiences reacted accordingly.

Why revisit a franchise based on an antiquated premise? Let’s update it for the modern era. A Libertarian college group wants to start a freewheeling dance club on campus, but the usual woke subjects won’t let that happen.

Enter a progressive talk show host backing the censorial forces and a small-town student ready to fight the liberal power at all costs.

Voila! “Footloose” for the Cancel Culture age.

“The Outsiders”

S.E. Hinton’s timeless novel inspired a 1983 drama directed by Francis Ford Coppola. The film couldn’t eclipse the source material, but it did introduce a new generation of stars, including Patrick Swayze, Tom Cruise, and Matt Dillon.

The story focused on young white males navigating ’60s culture, but adolescents of any generation could relate. Why not revisit the concept with a 21st-century spin? These young white males are under attack from a culture eager to paint them as privileged predators. What’s a rebellious teen to do under that microscope?

Or, perhaps change up the setting. The original centered on Oklahoma teens in turmoil. Why not take teens from the same midwestern state and have them stuck in a progressive big city, ready to rumble with urban teens from a very different culture?

“Caddyshack”

The film’s 1988 franchise extension might be the worst comedy sequel of all time. That stain is hard to remove, but the snobs vs. slobs motif in the 1980 original is both eternal and sorely missing from today’s pop culture landscape.

The modern-day snobs are the scolds telling us how to act and what causes to

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