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Is Marriage Just a Piece of Paper?
Opponents of marriage, and even some married people, frequently say that marriage is “just a piece of paper.” But is this true? Does marriage have any real benefits or significance for men and women?
There are many important events in a person’s life and death: birth, Christian baptism, Jewish bar or bat mitzvahs, weddings, and funerals, among others. Is one of these major life events attended by more people than the next? Dennis Prager, founder of PragerU, explains that if you look at the number of people at each event, more often than not, a wedding will be most attended.
There’s a reason for that.
“There is simply no event in your life that has the meaning and is so widely felt by others as your wedding because it’s deemed the most significant thing you will do, and even, perhaps, the happiest,” Prager says.
Prager explains that this talk, in which he makes the case for marriage, is the “saddest” one simply because in today’s day and age, with society continually degrading and diminishing the role and meaning of marriage, he has to give it. Decades ago, Prager says he wouldn’t have thought about giving this message because most people didn’t need it — they already knew.
In the United States today, roughly half of first marriages end in divorce, according to Forbes. As for second and third marriages, that fail rate is even higher, the outlet adds. This fact, Prager says, is what many unmarried people give as justification for their refusal to tie the knot. Others point to the severed marriages of their parents, a point Prager says holds no merit, posing the question of whether a person would quit driving if their parents got into a car accident.
“Yes, a lot don’t work out, that is correct,” Prager admits. “I’ve never found that to be a compelling argument against the institution.”
WATCH: Episode 9: The Case For Marriage
One way to avoid that dreadful divorce rate is to marry right the first time. But, Prager says, divorce is sometimes merited and is never easy. Unlike Hollywood stars who “trade in their wives every few years,” most people go to great lengths to make their marriages work and can still come up empty.
But the rewards for long-lasting marriages are great for both men and women. Prager points out a study by a professor at the University of Virginia which found that married men, on average, earn 20% more than unmarried men. It also found that married men are harder workers — typically working 400 hours more a year than unmarried men — and more strategic.
“Marriage also transforms men’s social worlds; they spend less time with friends and more time with family; they also go to bars less and to church more,” Brad Wilcox, the author of the study, wrote in a 2015 Washington Post article.
Marrying can also improve the health of a man. A Framingham Offspring study found that married men have a 46% lower rate of death from cardiovascular disease even after accounting for various risk factors, an astonishing statistic. A different study found that marriage has been linked to higher survival rates following cancer diagnoses, and another discovered that married people have lower levels of stress.
“[M]arried men have a lower risk of depression and a higher likelihood of satisfaction with life in retirement than their unmarried peers,” a 2019 Harvard Health article, cited by Prager, said. “Being married has also been linked to better cognitive function, a reduced risk of Alzheimer’s disease, improved blood sugar levels, and better outcomes for hospitalized patients.”
Women, too, receive numerous benefits from marriage. Prager points to studies showing that married women have better physical and emotional health, resulting in lower levels of depression and suicide attempts than unmarried women — and even “cohabiting” women, according to one study. They are also not as likely to be physically or emotionally abused, Prager says.
Beyond the physical, mental, and social benefits of marriage, being devoted to a spouse also forces men and women to do something extremely important: grow up. This is actually one of the contributors to the declining marriage rate in the country, because a lot of people today don’t want to grow up, according to Prager. He says it’s easy for him to spot a married man or woman by how they conduct themselves.
“When I meet a man who is married, he radiates a maturity and even a masculinity that I rarely find in men who are single for a long period of time,” Prager explains. “With women, likewise, I identify a maturity and a wisdom and a stability that I don’t see in women who have never been married.”
Prager says that Americans should strive to be a member of this institution, not only because it contributes to society in beneficial ways, but also because it’s good for the couple. Don’t wait too long to get married, either, Prager advises. Instead, get serious about marriage when a “wonderful person” comes along, instead of using the often-cited excuse of waiting for “financial stability.”
Ultimately, Prager says, a person will become better because of marriage. While the act of marriage is not an easy task, Prager asserts that “everything worthwhile is difficult.” And, contrary to objectors, marriage is much more than “just a piece of paper.”
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