Republicans and Democrats unite in their shared passion for sexual degradation.
Uniting Republicans and Democrats: A Shared Love of Sexual Degradation
In our sexual degradation.”>politically divided country, it’s crucial to find ways to bring us together. But how can we bridge the gap between Republicans, who claim to champion ordinary Americans but often succumb to corporate lobbyists, and Democrats, who advocate for ideals like equity and social justice but sometimes use them to justify questionable actions?
After much contemplation and perhaps a few too many drinks, I’ve come to a realization: there is one thing that unites both Republicans and Democrats, and that’s their mutual affinity for sexual degradation.
Democrats: Embracing Perversion in Burbank
Take the example of Burbank’s Democrat mayor, Konstantine Anthony, who proudly filmed himself being spanked by a drag queen. While conservatives may have mocked him for this unconventional act, Konstantine defended himself, proclaiming it as a triumph for sexual deviance. In his own words, he celebrated being part of the thousands of deviant acts committed in Burbank.
Republicans: Affairs and Hypocrisy
On the Republican side, we have the scandalous affair between South Dakota Governor Kristi Noem and Trump advisor Corey Lewandowski. Despite Noem’s Christian values and denial of the affair, some conservatives argue that hypocrisy is a necessary evil. However, it’s worth noting that hypocrisy is not a virtue, but rather a punishable offense.
While Democrats have sacrificed unborn children on the altar of hedonistic sex to the point where the demon God Moloch seems fit to lead their party, it seems unfair to solely target Republican Congresswoman Lauren Boebert for her minor indiscretions. After all, if she wants to engage in inappropriate behavior during a family-friendly musical, it shouldn’t affect our perception of her character unless we’re trying to enjoy the show. Nevertheless, Democrats wasted no time attacking her, claiming she couldn’t be a Democrat woman because she lacks a certain anatomical feature.
So, it’s clear why I have no politician friends. I don’t cheat on my wife, and my outspoken nature doesn’t exactly attract them. But the real question is: does it truly matter that our leaders engage in sexual depravity? Shouldn’t we focus on their ability to govern effectively?
Perhaps it’s a question that answers itself.
Andrew Klavan is the host of “The Andrew Klavan Show” at The Daily Wire. He is an award-winning novelist, Hollywood screenwriter, and popular satirist. Klavan is the author of “When Christmas Comes” and “Strange Habit of Mind,” the first two novels in the USA Today best-selling Cameron Winter Mystery series. The third installment, “The House of Love and Death,” releases on October 31, 2023, and is now available for Pre-order.
Follow Klavan on Twitter: @andrewklavan
This excerpt is taken from the opening satirical monologue of “The Andrew Klavan Show.”
The views expressed in this satirical article are those of the author and do not necessarily represent those of The Daily Wire.
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