When You Don’t Have Children, You Can Be As Selfish As You Want With Your Time

Also, my podcast Every Friday I enjoy playing a game called “Judge Candace.”

As Judge Candace I review Reddit posts in the category of “Am I the A**hole? (AITA),” Reddit users can ask their Reddit friends if they’re being a liar for something they say or did.

I am the judge, jury and executioner. This allows me to decide whether to send them to prison, release them, or give them a different punishment. This segment is a lot of fun for me, as you will see. My show is available to watch or listen..

Today’s case involves a Reddit user who asked, “Am I the A-hole for telling my friend that I hope he never has kids?”

Online commenters have said that the user was not an a-hole. However, I am still examining the case to determine if it is warranted. Let’s take a closer look at the original Reddit post copied below for the trial. Excuse the grammar errors. 

My girlfriend (23m) and I have a two-and-a half-month old daughter.

We have a system in place that works for us as I’ve been back at work for about a month now. My girlfriend gets up during the night if our baby happens to wake up (lately she’s been sleeping well during the night so this doesn’t happen often) as I have to be up at 4:30am for work. When I get home from work at about 3pm most days, I take over and give my girlfriend a well deserved break, I’ll do any normal parent duties etc and even encourage my girlfriend to get out of the house if she wants and offer to pay for her to treat herself whether it be getting her nails done or anything else she enjoys. My gf watches my baby while I cook and clean up. I also do our baby’s night time routine every night before getting into bed myself at 8:30pm, we give her a bath at about 7:30, and then massage her and feed her and she usually falls asleep halfway through feeding (formula fed)

This system works for us and while some people might not agree, I don’t care at all.

My friend and I were having a random convo over messenger and he was saying how keen he was to sleep in on the weekend, and I responded with saying lol I wish, I don’t sleep in anymore (we rotate getting up during the night on days I’m not working which is the weekend, and I wasn’t complaining I was just stating a fact) and he asked me why I don’t, and I responded with basically what I said above. And he said that was f***ing stupid and I deserve to sleep in on the weekend cos I work during the week, and I asked what he meant. He basically said that the man that works during week to provide should have the right to sleep in on weekends. I replied by saying that I hope he never has children because I feel sorry to the woman he is with. He called me an asshole, and he stopped responding. 

My girlfriend told me I was a bit harsh but I don’t think I was

AITA?

Well, this is an easy ruling: You’re not the a-hole whatsoever. Your friend is being selfish.

Guess what? When you don’t have kids, you’re allowed to be selfish with how you choose to spend your time! You are not responsible for the survival of anyone. 

He doesn’t even realize he’s being greedy with his time because what it takes to raise children is completely foreign to him.

He’s not necessarily being malicious with his comments — he’s simply childless. Your entire outlook on life changes after having children. You stop making comments like “you deserve to sleep in on the weekends.”

People say many things before they become parents, but there are many more that they say later. People also change their habits dramatically after having kids, which is necessary for their offspring’s well-being.

Before having children, I thought you were insane to tell me I was going be an early bird, getting up at 4:30 am to get ready for the day. I also need to get refreshed in order to care for my children.

In fact, if you said that to a 22-year-old today, who is used to partying and staying out late, they would also say you’re crazy.

Your entire life changes when you become a parent. Unless you’re a terrible, neglectful parent, the moment your baby is born you adjust your entire schedule. 

So, Mr. Reddit user, your friend sounds as if he’s used to living the party lifestyle. He gets up at any time he likes and goes to sleep. His time is

*As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases