Where are all the good women?
Barbie has just released the Stevie Nicks doll, inspired by her early days with Fleetwood Mac. The preorders sold out in a flash. Nicks expressed her initial concerns, wondering if the doll would truly capture her essence. However, upon seeing it, she exclaimed, “I am her and she is me. She absolutely has my heart.”
Nicks has always had a fondness for dolls, as she revealed in a 1992 interview with Vox magazine. Her home was adorned with dolls and lace, and she even expressed a desire to dress like a rag doll. Vox described her home as a “fairyland lounge” where she played the role of a damsel in distress in her castle.
Nicks is featured in my book, The End of Woman: How Smashing the Patriarchy Has Destroyed Us (Regnery, 2023), where I discovered her candid remarks about her life, career, and four abortions. She expressed deep regret over giving up her babies due to her busy schedule and commitments. Nicks prioritized her career and the expectations of her fans over starting a family, which ultimately led to heartbreak in her relationships.
In her latest book, The Toxic War on Masculinity, Nancy Pearcey explores the distinction between a good man and a real man. Men value honor, duty, integrity, sacrifice, and standing up for others, while the concept of a real man is associated with toughness, winning at all costs, and self-centeredness. Despite societal attempts to undermine masculinity, this distinction remains.
When we apply the same questions to women, the answers are not as clear. The past 50 years have erased the idea of a good woman from our culture, replacing her with the image of the working woman. This shift in ideals has been influenced by the roots of feminism, starting with Betty Friedan’s book The Feminine Mystique in 1963. Friedan advocated for women to pursue careers outside the home, aligning with her communist and Marxist beliefs. Since then, feminism has continued to redefine womanhood, emphasizing self-reliance, ambition, and strength while downplaying traditional virtues like patience and compassion.
Roots of Feminism
In 1963, Betty Friedan shook the world with her book The Feminine Mystique, which sold millions of copies. Friedan’s goal was to liberate women from the confines of the home and promote productive work. This marked the beginning of a shift in societal perceptions of womanhood, with the independent working woman becoming the new ideal.
This ideal woman was portrayed in magazines, blogs, TV shows, and movies as someone who could do it all without the burden of a family. The emphasis shifted from traditional virtues to self-reliance and ambition. The working woman became a symbol of empowerment, even celebrating the choice to have an abortion to avoid hindrances in her career.
Ambition as Virtue
Unfortunately, this narrative has led to the neglect of what truly makes a woman good. Stevie Nicks’ story serves as a poignant example of the mental conflict that arises when women prioritize their careers over their children. Her love for dolls will never replace the void left by her decision to give up motherhood for a lesser good.
While Nicks may be praised for her talents as a singer and entertainer, few would consider her a good woman. The erosion of traditional virtues and the glorification of the working woman have distorted our understanding of what it means to be a woman.
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What are the societal expectations that contribute to the immense stress women face in balancing personal responsibilities and professional success?
To the present day. Friedan’s book challenged the traditional role of women as homemakers and showcased the dissatisfaction many women felt in their lives. This sparked a movement that aimed to redefine the role of women in society and promote gender equality.
As a result, women have made significant strides in various fields, breaking barriers and achieving great success. They have excelled in politics, business, science, and the arts, proving that they can thrive in traditionally male-dominated spaces. However, this progress has come at a cost.
The pressure to succeed professionally and balance personal responsibilities has created immense stress for women. The expectation to be a superwoman who can do it all has taken a toll on their mental and physical health. Many women struggle to find a sense of fulfillment and happiness, as they constantly question whether they are doing enough or living up to societal expectations.
Furthermore, the emphasis on independence and self-sufficiency has led to a devaluation of traditional feminine qualities. Traits such as nurturing, compassion, and emotional vulnerability have been sidelined in favor of assertiveness and competitiveness. Women who exhibit these traditional qualities are often seen as weak or not serious enough.
In her book, Nicks reflects on the choices she made throughout her career and the impact they had on her personal life. She openly shares her regrets about not prioritizing her desire to start a family and acknowledges the sacrifices she made. Her honesty highlights the complex and often conflicting expectations that women face in society.
It is crucial for society to recognize and appreciate the diverse ways in which women can contribute to the world. We must move away from a singular definition of success and acknowledge that fulfillment can be found in various areas of life. Women should be empowered to make choices that align with their values and aspirations, whether it involves pursuing a career, starting a family, or both.
Additionally, we need to redefine what it means to be a good woman. Being a good woman should not be limited to achieving professional success or fulfilling societal norms. It should encompass qualities such as kindness, empathy, and self-care. Women should be encouraged to prioritize their well-being and embrace their unique strengths and talents.
In conclusion, the past 50 years have witnessed significant progress for women in various fields. However, this progress has come with its own set of challenges and pressures. It is essential to recognize the diverse ways in which women can find fulfillment and redefine the concept of a good woman. By embracing a more inclusive and holistic definition, we can create a society that celebrates and supports women in all their endeavors.
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