Online dating is universally disliked.
The Changing Landscape of Online Dating
There is no question that online dating is revolutionizing the way we connect with others. With just a few clicks, we can evaluate potential partners based on their photos and a few facts. Dating apps offer a plethora of options, but sometimes, too many choices can lead to analysis paralysis. However, despite the drawbacks, people continue to engage with these apps. Interestingly, most individuals I’ve spoken to about their online dating experience share a common sentiment: They despise the apps. While they acknowledge that dating apps can be a convenient way to meet new people, overall, their experiences have been far from enjoyable. The reasons behind this dislike vary between genders.
The Female Perspective
When it comes to women’s grievances with dating apps, one recurring complaint is that men often misrepresent themselves. Women have noticed that many men heavily edit their pictures before posting them on these platforms. Consequently, when a man shows up for a date, he may look drastically different from his online persona. This behavior seems perplexing. What is the purpose of deceiving someone? Does the woman believe she can trick him into staying solely for her personality? The reality is that the person will eventually see the real you. In fact, if I had an online dating profile, I would intentionally choose a slightly less attractive photo of myself to pleasantly surprise my date when we meet. So why do women feel the need to lie about their appearance? Why do they pretend to have a different smile, body, or skin tone?
The Male Perspective
On the other hand, when I spoke to men about their experiences with online dating, their primary complaint was that women often fail to respond after an initial conversation. Men make an effort to reach out and engage in conversation, only to be met with silence. This behavior is equally puzzling.
To gain a deeper understanding of these motivations, I asked women why they heavily edit their photos. One woman responded by saying that cameras tend to add a few extra pounds. While this may have been a valid concern in the past, it seems less relevant in today’s technologically advanced world. Another woman mentioned editing the lighting or background but not altering her physical appearance. This seems fair and understandable. However, it was the next response that struck me as the most honest. A woman admitted to editing her photos to impress others and due to her own insecurities. I believe this answer gets to the heart of the issue. Many women edit their photos because they don’t anticipate meeting in person. These apps provide a distraction and boost their self-confidence when men compliment their beauty or express interest. Even if the date never materializes, they feel validated and desired. This desire for validation leads women to essentially advertise something that isn’t real.
From a male perspective, the issue seems to be different. Men view dating apps as a numbers game. By reaching out to numerous women with varying looks, they hope to receive responses from a select few who they consider to be highly attractive. If no one from this elite group responds, they move on to the next tier. The mindset is that eventually, they will catch a big enough fish.
Unfortunately, this advancement in technology has inadvertently caused a regression in our ability to communicate and connect with others. Many people lack the confidence to engage in face-to-face conversations and instead hide behind apps. As our confidence diminishes, we resort to telling more lies, both to the world and to ourselves.
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